PAGE 5
The Nooning Tree
by
“He hed warnin’s enough,” put in Pitt Packard, though Jabe Slocum never needed any assistance in spinning a yarn.
“Warnin’s! I should think he hed. The Seventh Day Baptist minister went so fur as to preach at him. ‘The Apostle Paul gin heed,’ was the text. ‘Why did he gin heed?’ says he. ‘Because he heerd. If he hadn’t ‘a’ heerd, he couldn’t ‘a’ gin heed, ‘n’ ‘t wouldn’t ‘a’ done him no good to ‘a’ heerd ‘thout he gin heed!’ Wall, it helped consid’ble many in the congregation, ‘specially them that was in the habit of hearin’ ‘n’ heedin’, but it rolled right off Dixie like water off a duck’s back. He ‘n’ Fiddy was seen over to the ballin’ alley to Wareham next day, ‘n’ they didn’t come back for a week.”
“‘He gin her his hand,
And he made her his own,'”
sang little Brad Gibson.
“He hed gin her his hand, but no minister nor trial-jestice nor eighteen-carat ring nor stificate could ‘a’ made Fiddy Maddox anybody’s own ‘ceptin’ the devil’s, an’ he wouldn’t ‘a’ married her; she’d ‘a’ ben too near kin. We’d never ‘spicioned she ‘d git ‘s fur ‘s marryin’ anybody, ‘n’ she only married Dixie ’cause he told her he ‘d take her to the Wareham House to dinner, ‘n’ to the County Fair afterwards; if any other feller hed offered to take her to supper, ‘n’ the theatre on top o’ that, she ‘d ‘a’ married him instid.”
“How ‘d the old woman take it?” asked Steve.
“She disowned her daughter punctilio: in the first place, fer runnin’ away ‘stid o’ hevin’ a church weddin’; ‘n’ second place, fer marryin’ a pauper (that was what she called him; ‘n’ it was true, for they ‘d spent every cent he hed); ‘n’ third place, fer alienatin’ the ‘fections of a travelin’ baker-man she hed her eye on fer herself. He was a kind of a flour-food peddler, that used to drive a cart round by Hard Scrabble, Moderation, ‘n’ Scratch Corner way. Mis’ Maddox used to buy all her baked victuals of him, ‘specially after she found out he was a widower beginnin’ to take notice. His cart used to stand at her door so long everybody on the rout would complain o’ stale bread. But bime bye Fiddy begun to set at her winder when he druv up, ‘n’ bime bye she pinned a blue ribbon in her collar. When she done that, Mis’ Maddox alles hed to take a back seat. The boys used to call it a danger signal. It kind o’ drawed yer ‘tention to p’ints ’bout her chin ‘n’ mouth ‘n’ neck, ‘n’ one thing ‘n’ ‘nother, in a way that was cal’lated to snarl up the thoughts o’ perfessors o’ religion ‘n’ turn ’em earthways. There was a spell I hed to say, ‘Remember Rhapseny! Remember Rhapseny!‘ over to myself whenever Fiddy put on her blue ribbons. Wall, as I say, Fiddy set at the winder, the baker-man seen the blue ribbons, ‘n’ Mis’ Maddox’s cake was dough. She put on a red ribbon; but land! her neck looked ‘s if somebody ‘d gone over it with a harrer! Then she stomped round ‘n’ slat the dish-rag, but ‘t wa’n’t no use. ‘Gracious, mother,’ says Fiddy, ‘I don’t do nothin’ but set at the winder. The sun shines for all.’ ‘You’re right it does,’ says Mis’ Maddox, ”n’ that’s jest what I complain of. I’d like to get a change to shine on something myself.’
“But the baker-man kep’ on comin’, though when he got to the Maddoxes’ doorsteps he couldn’t make change for a quarter nor tell pie from bread; an’ sure ‘s you’re born, the very day Fiddy went away to be married to Dixie, that mornin’ she drawed that everlastin’ numhead of a flour-food peddler out into the orchard, ‘n’ cut off a lock o’ her hair, ‘n’ tied it up with a piece o’ her blue ribbon, ‘n’ give it to him; an’ old Mis’ Bascom says, when he went past her house he was gazin’ at it ‘n’ kissin’ of it, ‘n’ his horse meanderin’ on one side the road ‘n’ the other, ‘n’ the door o’ the cart open ‘n’ slammin’ to ‘n’ fro, ‘n’ ginger cookies spillin’ out all over the lot. He come back to the Maddoxes next morning’ (‘t wa’n’t his day, but his hoss couldn’t pull one way when Fiddy’s ribbon was pullin’ t’other); an’ when he found out she ‘d gone with Dixie, he cussed ‘n’ stomped ‘n’ took on like a loontic; an’ when Mis’ Maddox hinted she was ready to heal the wownds Fiddy ‘d inflicted, he stomped ‘n’ cussed wuss ‘n’ ever, ‘n’ the neighbors say he called her a hombly old trollop, an’ fired the bread loaves all over the dooryard, he was so crazy at bein’ cheated.