FullReads

“I guess you’re ’bout right,” allowed Steve, “but I shouldn’t never ‘a’ thought of it in the world. What yer takin’ out o’ that bottle, Jabe? I thought you was a temperance man.”

“I guess he ‘s like the feller over to Shandagee schoolhouse, that said he was in favor o’ the law, but agin its enforcement!” laughed Pitt Packard.

“I ain’t breakin’ no law; this is yarb bitters,” Jabe answered, with a pull at the bottle.

“It’s to cirkerlate his blood,” said Ob Tarbox; “he’s too dog-goned lazy to cirkerlate it himself.”

“I’m takin’ it fer what ails me,” said Jabe oracularly; “the heart knoweth its own bitterness, ‘n’ it ‘s a wise child that knows its own complaints ‘thout goin’ to a doctor.”

“Ain’t yer scared fer fear it’ll start yer growth, Laigs?” asked little Brad Gibson, looking at Jabe’s tremendous length of limb and foot. “Say, how do yer git them feet o’ yourn uphill? Do yer start one ahead, ‘n’ side-track the other?”

The tree rang with the laughter evoked by this sally, but the man from Tennessee never smiled.

Jabe Slocum’s imperturbable good humor was not shaken in the very least by these personal remarks. “If I thought ‘t was a good growin’ medicine, I’d recommend it to your folks, Brad,” he replied cheerfully. “Your mother says you boys air all so short that when you’re diggin’ potatoes, yer can’t see her shake the dinner rag ‘thout gittin’ up ‘n’ standing on the potato hills! If I was a sinikitin feller like you, I wouldn’t hector folks that had made out to grow some.”

“Speakin’ o’ growin’,” said Steve Webster, “who do you guess I seen in Boston, when I was workin’ there? That tall Swatkins girl from the Duck Pond, the one that married Dan Robinson. It was one Sunday, in the Catholic meetin’-house. I’d allers wanted to go to a Catholic meetin’, an’ I declare it’s about the solemnest one there is. I mistrusted I was goin’ to everlastin’ly giggle, but I tell yer I was the awedest cutter yer ever see. But anyway, the Swatkins girl–or Mis’ Robinson, she is now– was there as large as life in the next pew to me, jabberin’ Latin, pawin’ beads, gettin’ up ‘n’ kneelin’ down, ‘n’ crossin’ herself north, south, east, ‘n’ west, with the best of ’em. Poor Dan! ‘Grinnin’ Dan,’ we used to call him. Well, he don’t grin nowadays. He never was good for much, but he ‘s hed more ‘n his comeuppance!”

“Why, what ‘s the matter with him? Can’t he git work in Boston?”

“Matter? Why, his wife, that I see makin’ believe be so dreadful pious in the Catholic meetin’, she ‘s carried on wuss ‘n the Old Driver for two years, ‘n’ now she ‘s up ‘n’ left him,– gone with a han’somer man.”

Down on Steve Webster’s hand came Jabe Slocum’s immense paw with a grasp that made him cringe.

“What the”–began Steve, when the man from Tennessee took up his scythe and slouched away from the group by the tree.

“Didn’t yer know no better ‘n that, yer thunderin’ fool? Can’t yer see a hole in a grindstun ‘thout it’s hung on yer nose?”

“What hev I done?” asked Steve, as if dumfounded.

“Done? Where ‘ve yer ben, that yer don’t know Dixie’s wife ‘s left him?”

“Where ‘ve I ben? Hain’t I ben workin’ in Boston fer a year; ‘n’ since I come home last week, hain’t I ben tendin’ sick folks, so ‘t I couldn’t git outside the dooryard? I never seen the man in my life till yesterday, in the field, ‘n’ I thought he was one o’ them dark-skinned Frenchies from Guildford that hed come up here fer hayin’.”

“Mebbe I spoke too sharp,” said Jabe apologetically; “but we ‘ve ben scared to talk wives, or even women folks, fer a month o’ Sundays, fer fear Dixie ‘d up ‘n’ tumble on his scythe, or do somethin’ crazy. You see it’s this way (I’d ruther talk than work; ‘n’ we ain’t workin’ by time to-day, anyway, on account of the circus comin’): ‘Bout a year ‘n’ a half ago, this tall, han’some feller turned up here in Pleasant River. He inhailed from down South somewheres, but he didn’t like his work there, ‘n’ drifted to New York, ‘n’ then to Boston; ‘n’ then he remembered his mother was a State o’ Maine woman, ‘n’ he come here to see how he liked. We didn’t take no stock in him at first,–we never hed one o’ that nigger-tradin’ secedin’ lot in amongst us,–but he was pleasant spoken ‘n’ a square, all-round feller, ‘n’ didn’t git off any secesh nonsense, ‘n’ it ended in our likin’ him first-rate. Wall, he got work in the cannin’ fact’ry over on the Butterfield road, ‘n’ then he fell in with the Maddoxes. You ‘ve hearn tell of ’em; they’re relation to Pitt here.”