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The Night-Watch And The Would-Be Something Awful
by [?]

The only Chance that Florine had to mingle with the Popular Boys was to go down Town in the Afternoon and just happen to meet one of them at the Ice-Cream Parlor. Florine learned to be quite a Happener. But on the way home she would have to fix up a few Jules Vernes for the Old Lady in the Watch Tower. Mother knew that it didn’t take 4 Hours to be measured for a Shirt Waist.

“Wait until I get Married,” Florine would say. “I’ll make that 20-hour Flyer look like a Steam-Roller. If Mother doesn’t let up on me, I’ll learn to smoke Cigarettes.”

At times she was so Desperate that she was ready to join a Troupe or elope with a Drummer. She wanted to get out among the Bright Lights and hear the Band play. And she knew that she couldn’t turn Flip-Flops and break Furniture and play Rag-Time along after Midnight until she had become a Respectable. Married Woman. So she had her Distress Signal out and used to drop very Broad Hints, when she was chatting with the Lads who happened to be in the Soda-Water Resort when she dropped in. They liked Florine for Keeps, but when one of them thought of clinching with old Eagle-Eye, the Family Sleuth, he weakened.

Florine would have remained a Dead Card if she had not gone on a Visit to a neighboring City where she bumped into the Town Trifler. He had a Way of proposing to every Girl the first time he met her. It always seemed to him such a cordial Send-Off for a budding Friendship. Usually the Girl asked for Time and then the two of them would Fiddle around and Fuss and Make Up and finally send back all the Letters and that would be the Finish. Florine fooled the foxy Philander. The Moment he came at her with the Marriage Talk she took a firm Hold and said, “You’re on! Get your License to-morrow morning. Then cut all the Telegraph Wires and burn the Railroad Bridges.”

They were Married, and, strange as it may appear, Mother immediately resigned her Job as Policeman and said: “Thank goodness, I’ve got you Married Off! Now you can do as you please.”

When Florine found that she could do as she pleased she discovered that there wasn’t very much of anything to do except Settle Down. After about seven Chafing-Dish Parties she expended her whole Stock of pent-up Ginger and now she is just as Quiet as the rest of us.

* * * * *

MORAL: Any System is O.K. if it finally Works Out.