PAGE 7
The New Gulliver
by
“There are no servants,” said my companion. “We have the second class, the workers, but we should not admit them to live in our houses. We have so far simplified life that one being can very well look after one house, his own. As a matter of fact two second-class beings are sent from the Hygienic Control of the Central Office every morning to clean each house, but it is a question whether this should continue. We are discussing it. It looks just a little like luxury, and luxury is dangerous to longevity. Why should we have a servant to announce us? If the Professor knows the visitor, it is not necessary. If he does not know him, the visitor can supply the information just as well as the servant. If the Professor had not wished to receive, the outer door would not have opened.”
We did not find the Professor in the first room we entered, but in the dining-room, where he was taking pills out of one of those small aluminium cups. He went on taking his pills and we watched in solemn silence until he had finished. In appearance the Professor closely resembled my guide, but his fringe of hair was darker and more abundant, and something in his face seemed to betoken a love of study rather than high practical ability. I now witnessed another curious piece of etiquette.
“I hope you are ill,” said my guide genially.
“Wrong absolutely,” said the Professor, “but I trust that you yourself are suffering from some malignant disease.”
“Nothing of the kind,” said MZ04.
Subsequent inquiries showed me the reason for this. The principle was that the guest should take the earliest opportunity to make his host feel in a superior position. Therefore etiquette required the guest to arrive unkempt, as if he did not possess the conveniences which his host had at his disposal. It also required him to make an obviously false statement as to his host’s health, in order that his host might have the power of correcting him. A well-bred host, such as the Professor, immediately replied by giving his guest a similar opportunity to correct and in consequence to feel in the superior position.
They now exchanged rather ponderous compliments on their respective birthdays. But in spite of their politeness I somehow got the impression that these two beings were in strong antagonism to one another, and that however much the emotions might be discouraged in Thule, feelings of jealously still existed.
“On this auspicious occasion,” said the Professor, “it is generally my custom to make you some slight offering. I have placed a power to read a manuscript to your order at the Central Office.”
“I thank you sincerely,” said MZ04. “I had intended to do the same thing, but I think I have found something even more to your taste.” He pointed at me with his booted hand. “Here,” he said, “is rather a curious thing that I have found. You make a study of the old world and might be interested in it. I have no use for such curios myself and am happy to present it to you. In many respects–notably in its foolish use of the erect position–it resembles our second-class beings, but I believe it to be a genuine old-world relic.”
“I am of the same opinion,” said the Professor, “and I am obliged to you for your generosity. Can it talk?”
“Fluently,” said MZ04, “but with a bad accent.”
I now said very decisively that I was a free man, that I did not belong to either of them, and that I absolutely declined to be handed as a slave or a chattel from one to the other. I repeated this in varying terms more than once. They took not the slightest notice of it, but waited patiently till I had finished.
“I am busy to-day at the Heat and Light Control,” said MZ04. “I fear that I must now leave you.”