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The Mystery Of Barney O’rourke
by
“I don’t know,” said Barney, quietly. “I didn’t t’ink so before.”
“Before? Before what? When?” I asked.
“Whin you was writin’ shtories about ut, sorr,” said Barney, respectfully. “You’ve had a black horse-hair sofy turn white in a single noight, sorr, for the soight of horror ut’s witnessed. You’ve had the hair of your own head shtand on ind loike tinpenny nails at what you’ve seen here in this very room, yourself, sorr. You’ve had ghosts doin’ all sorts of t’ings in the shtories you’ve been writin’ for years, and you’ve always swore they was thrue, sorr. I didn’t believe ’em when I read ’em, but whin I see thim segyars bein’ shmoked up before me eyes by invishible t’ings, I sez to meself, sez I, the boss ain’t such a dommed loiar afther all. I’ve follyd your writin’, sorr, very careful and close loike; an I don’t see how, afther the tales you’ve told about your own experiences right here, you can say consishtently that this wan o’ mine ain’t so!”
“But why, Barney,” I asked, to confuse him, “when a thing like this happened, didn’t you write and tell me?”
Barney chuckled as only one of his species can chuckle.
“Wroite an’ tell ye?” he cried. “Be gorry, sorr, if I could wroite at all at all, ut’s not you oi’d be wroitin’ that tale to, but to the edithor of the paper that you wroite for. A tale loike that is wort’ tin dollars to any man, eshpecially if ut’s thrue. But I niver learned the art!”
And with that Barney left me overwhelmed. Subsequently I gave him the ten dollars which I think his story is worth, but I must confess that I am in a dilemma. After what I have said about my supernatural guests, I cannot discharge Barney for lying, but I’ll be blest if I can quite believe that his story is accurate in every respect.
If there should happen to be among the readers of this tale any who have made a sufficiently close study of the habits of hired men and ghosts to be able to shed any light upon the situation, nothing would please me more than to hear from them.
I may add, in closing, that Barney has resumed smoking.