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I went to the Jews’ Free School, which was turned into a synagogue, and passed the whole day in tearful supplication. When I came home at night my wife sat and wept. I asked her why she wept. She answered: ‘Why have you led me to such a land, where even prayer costs money–at least, for women? The whole day I went from one Shool to another, but they would not let me in. At last I went to the Shool of the “Sons of the Soul,” where pray the pious Jews, with beards and ear-locks, and even there I was not allowed in. The heathen policeman begged for me, and said to them: “Shame on you not to let the poor woman in.” The Gabbai (treasurer) answered: “If one hasn’t money, one sits at home.”‘ And my wife said to him, weeping: ‘My tears be on your head,’ and went home, and remained home the whole day weeping. With a woman Yom Kippur is a wonder-working day. She thought that her prayers might be heard, that God would consider her plight if she wept out her heart to Him in the Shool. But she was frustrated, and this was perhaps the greatest blow of all to her. Moreover, she was oppressed by her own brethren, and this was indeed bitter. If it had been the Gentile, she would have consoled herself with the thought, ‘We are in exile.’ When the fast was over, we had nothing but a little bread left to break our fast on, or to prepare for the next day’s fast. Nevertheless we sorrowfully slept. But the wretched day came again, and the elder children went out into the street to seek Parnosoh (employment), and found scrubbing, that brought in nine-pence. We bought bread, and continued to live further. Likewise we obtained three shillings worth of washing to do, and were as rich as Rothschild. When Succoth (Tabernacles) came, again no money, no bread, and I went about the streets the whole day to seek for work. When I was asked what handicraftsman I was, of course I had to say I had no trade, for, foolishly enough, among the Jews in my part of Russia a trade is held in contempt, and when they wish to hold one up to scorn, they say to him: ‘Anybody can see you are a descendant of a handicraftsman.’

I could write Holy Scrolls, indeed, and keep an inn, but what availed these accomplishments? As I found I could obtain no work, I went into the Shool of the ‘Sons of the Soul.’ I seated myself next a man, and we began to speak. I told him of my plight. Said he: ‘I will give you advice. Call on our Rabbi. He is a very fine man.’

I did so. As I entered, he sat in company with another man, holding his Lulov and Esrog (palm and citron). ‘What do you want?’ I couldn’t answer him, my heart was so oppressed, but suddenly my tears gushed forth. It seemed to me help was at hand. I felt assured of sympathy, if of nothing else. I told him we were perishing for want of bread, and asked him to give me advice. He answered nothing. He turned to the man, and spoke concerning the Tabernacle and the Citron. He took no further notice of me, but left me standing.

So I understood he was no better than Elzas Kazelia. And this is a Rabbi! As I saw I might as well have talked to the wall, I left the room without a word from him. As the moujik would say: ‘Sad and bitter is the poor man’s lot. It is better to lie in the dark tomb and not to see the sunlit world than to be a poor man and be compelled to beg for money.’

I came home, where my family was waiting patiently for my return with bread. I said: ‘Good Yomtov,’ weeping, for they looked scarcely alive, having been without a morsel of food that day.