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PAGE 9

The Mixer
by [?]

When he had gone, Fred and his father made a great fuss of me. I couldn’t understand it. Men are so odd. The man wasn’t a bit pleased that I had brought him and Fred together, but Fred seemed as if he couldn’t do enough for me for having introduced him to the man. However, Fred’s father produced some cold ham–my favourite dish–and gave me quite a lot of it, so I stopped worrying over the thing. As mother used to say, ‘Don’t bother your head about what doesn’t concern you. The only thing a dog need concern himself with is the bill-of-fare. Eat your bun, and don’t make yourself busy about other people’s affairs.’ Mother’s was in some ways a narrow outlook, but she had a great fund of sterling common sense.


II. He Moves in Society

It was one of those things which are really nobody’s fault. It was not the chauffeur’s fault, and it was not mine. I was having a friendly turn-up with a pal of mine on the side-walk; he ran across the road; I ran after him; and the car came round the corner and hit me. It must have been going pretty slow, or I should have been killed. As it was, I just had the breath knocked out of me. You know how you feel when the butcher catches you just as you are edging out of the shop with a bit of meat. It was like that.

I wasn’t taking much interest in things for awhile, but when I did I found that I was the centre of a group of three–the chauffeur, a small boy, and the small boy’s nurse.

The small boy was very well-dressed, and looked delicate. He was crying.

‘Poor doggie,’ he said, ‘poor doggie.’

‘It wasn’t my fault, Master Peter,’ said the chauffeur respectfully. ‘He run out into the road before I seen him.’

‘That’s right,’ I put in, for I didn’t want to get the man into trouble.

‘Oh, he’s not dead,’ said the small boy. ‘He barked.’

‘He growled,’ said the nurse. ‘Come away, Master Peter. He might bite you.’

Women are trying sometimes. It is almost as if they deliberately misunderstood.

‘I won’t come away. I’m going to take him home with me and send for the doctor to come and see him. He’s going to be my dog.’

This sounded all right. Goodness knows I am no snob, and can rough it when required, but I do like comfort when it comes my way, and it seemed to me that this was where I got it. And I liked the boy. He was the right sort.

The nurse, a very unpleasant woman, had to make objections.

‘Master Peter! You can’t take him home, a great, rough, fierce, common dog! What would your mother say?’

‘I’m going to take him home,’ repeated the child, with a determination which I heartily admired, ‘and he’s going to be my dog. I shall call him Fido.’

There’s always a catch in these good things. Fido is a name I particularly detest. All dogs do. There was a dog called that that I knew once, and he used to get awfully sick when we shouted it out after him in the street. No doubt there have been respectable dogs called Fido, but to my mind it is a name like Aubrey or Clarence. You may be able to live it down, but you start handicapped. However, one must take the rough with the smooth, and I was prepared to yield the point.

‘If you wait, Master Peter, your father will buy you a beautiful, lovely dog….’

‘I don’t want a beautiful, lovely dog. I want this dog.’

The slur did not wound me. I have no illusions about my looks. Mine is an honest, but not a beautiful, face.

‘It’s no use talking,’ said the chauffeur, grinning. ‘He means to have him. Shove him in, and let’s be getting back, or they’ll be thinking His Nibs has been kidnapped.’