PAGE 6
The Mansion
by
“Thank you,” said Harold. “Thank you very much! But there’s another private affair. I want to get away from this life, this town, this house. It stifles me. You refused last summer when I asked you to let me go up to Grenfell’s Mission on the Labrador. I could go now, at least as far as the Newfoundland Station. Have you changed your mind?”
“Not at all. I think it is an exceedingly foolish enterprise. It would interrupt the career that I have marked out for you.”
“Well, then, here’s a cheaper proposition. Algy Vanderhoof wants me to join him on his yacht with–well, with a little party–to cruise in the West Indies. Would you prefer that?”
“Certainly not! The Vanderhoof set is wild and godless–I do not wish to see you keeping company with fools who walk in the broad and easy way that leads to perdition.”
“It is rather a hard choice,” said the young man, with a short laugh, turning toward the door. “According to you there’s very little difference–a fool’s paradise or a fool’s hell! Well, it’s one or the other for me, and I’ll toss up for it to-night: heads, I lose; tails, the devil wins. Anyway, I’m sick of this, and I’m out of it.”
“Harold,” said the older man (and there was a slight tremor in his voice), “don’t let us quarrel on Christmas Eve. All I want is to persuade you to think seriously of the duties and responsibilities to which God has called you–don’t speak lightly of heaven and hell–remember, there is another life.”
The young man came back and laid his hand upon his father’s shoulder.
“Father,” he said, “I want to remember it. I try to believe in it. But somehow or other, in this house, it all seems unreal to me. No doubt all you say is perfectly right and wise. I don’t venture to argue against it, but I can’t feel it–that’s all. If I’m to have a soul, either to lose or to save, I must really live. Just now neither the present nor the future means anything to me. But surely we won’t quarrel. I’m very grateful to you, and we’ll part friends. Good-night, sir.”
The father held out his hand in silence. The heavy portiere dropped noiselessly behind the son, and he went up the wide, curving stairway to his own room.
Meantime John Weightman sat in his carved chair in the Jacobean dining-room. He felt strangely old and dull. The portraits of beautiful women by Lawrence and Reynolds and Raeburn, which had often seemed like real company to him, looked remote and uninteresting.
He fancied something cold and almost unfriendly in their expression, as if they were staring through him or beyond him. They cared nothing for his principles, his hopes, his disappointments, his successes; they belonged to another world, in which he had no place. At this he felt a vague resentment, a sense of discomfort that he could not have defined or explained. He was used to being considered, respected, appreciated at his full value in every region, even in that of his own dreams.
Presently he rang for the butler, telling him to close the house and not to sit up, and walked with lagging steps into the long library, where the shaded lamps were burning. His eye fell upon the low shelves full of costly books, but he had no desire to open them. Even the carefully chosen pictures that hung above them seemed to have lost their attraction. He paused for a moment before an idyll of Corot–a dance of nymphs around some forgotten altar in a vaporous glade–and looked at it curiously. There was something rapturous and serene about the picture, a breath of spring-time in the misty trees, a harmony of joy in the dancing figures, that wakened in him a feeling of half-pleasure and half-envy. It represented something that he had never known in his calculated, orderly life. He was dimly mistrustful of it.