PAGE 14
The Make-Believe Man
by
“Ladies first!” he cried. “Her ladyship first, I mean,” he corrected. Even on leaving what he believed to be a sinking ship, Kinney could not forget his manners. But Mr. Aldrich had evidently forgotten his. I heard him shout indignantly: “I’ll be damned if I do!”
The voice of Lady Moya laughed.
“You’ll be drowned if you don’t!” she answered. I saw a black shadow poised upon the rail. “Steady below there!” her voice called, and the next moment, as lightly as a squirrel, she dropped to the thwart and stumbled into my arms.
The voice of Aldrich was again raised in anger. “I’d rather drown!” he cried.
Lord Ivy responded with unexpected spirit.
“Well, then, drown! The water is warm and it’s a pleasing death.”
At that, with a bump, he fell in a heap at my feet.
“Easy, Kinney!” I shouted. “Don’t swamp us!”
“I’ll be careful!” he called, and the next instant hit my shoulders and I shook him off on top of Lord Ivy.
“Get off my head!” shouted his lordship.
Kinney apologized to every one profusely. Lady Moya raised her voice.
“For the last time, Phil,” she called, “are you coming or are you not?”
“Not with those swindlers, I’m not!” he shouted. “I think you two are mad! I prefer to drown!”
There was an uncomfortable silence. My position was a difficult one, and, not knowing what to say, I said nothing.
“If one must drown!” exclaimed Lady Moya briskly, “I can’t see it matters who one drowns with.”
In his strangely explosive manner Lord Ivy shouted suddenly: “Phil, you’re a silly ass.”
“Push off!” commanded Lady Moya.
I think, from her tone, the order was given more for the benefit of Aldrich than for myself. Certainly it was effective, for on the instant there was a heavy splash. Lord Ivy sniffed scornfully and manifested no interest.
“Ah!” he exclaimed, “he prefers to drown!”
Sputtering and gasping, Aldrich rose out of the water, and, while we balanced the boat, climbed over the side.
“Understand!” he cried even while he was still gasping, “I am here under protest. I am here to protect you and Stumps. I am under obligation to no one. I’m–“
“Can you row?” I asked.
“Why don’t you ask your pal?” he demanded savagely; “he rowed on last year’s crew.”
“Phil!” cried Lady Moya. Her voice suggested a temper I had not suspected. “You will row or you can get out and walk! Take the oars,” she commanded, “and be civil!” Lady Moya, with the tiller in her hand, sat in the stern; Stumps, with Kinney huddled at his knees, was stowed away forward. I took the stroke and Aldrich the bow oars.
“We will make for the Connecticut shore,” I said, and pulled from under the stern of the Patience.
In a few minutes we had lost all sight and, except for her whistle, all sound of her; and we ourselves were lost in the fog. There was another eloquent and embarrassing silence. Unless, in the panic, they trampled upon each other, I had no real fear for the safety of those on board the steamer. Before we had abandoned her I had heard the wireless frantically sputtering the “standby” call, and I was certain that already the big boats of the Fall River, Providence, and Joy lines, and launches from every wireless station between Bridgeport and Newport, were making toward her. But the margin of safety, which to my thinking was broad enough for all the other passengers, for the lovely lady was in no way sufficient. That mob-swept deck was no place for her. I was happy that, on her account, I had not waited for a possible rescue. In the yawl she was safe. The water was smooth, and the Connecticut shore was, I judged, not more than three miles distant. In an hour, unless the fog confused us, I felt sure the lovely lady would again walk safely upon dry land. Selfishly, on Kinney’s account and my own, I was delighted to find myself free of the steamer, and from any chance of her landing us where police waited with open arms. The avenging angel in the person of Aldrich was still near us, so near that I could hear the water dripping from his clothes, but his power to harm was gone. I was congratulating myself on this when suddenly he undeceived me. Apparently he had been considering his position toward Kinney and myself, and, having arrived at a conclusion, was anxious to announce it.