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The Love Of Lobelia ‘Ankins
by
“”Course she is,’ says I; ‘I see that a long spell ago.’
“‘But what’ll I DO?’ says he. ‘A woman like ‘er is a desp’rate character. If we hever git hashore she might be for lugging me to the church and marrying me by main force.’
“‘Then you’ll have to marry her, for all I see,’ says I. ‘You shouldn’t be so fascinating.’
“That made him mad and he went off jawing to himself.
“The next day we got the schooner patched up and off the shoal and ‘longside Lazarus’ old landing wharf by the shanty. There was a little more tinkering to be done ‘fore she was ready for sea, and we cal’lated to do it that afternoon.
“After dinner Hammond went down to the spring after some water and Lobelia ‘Ankins went along with him. I laid down in the shade for a snooze, but I hadn’t much more than settled myself comfortably when I heard a yell and somebody running. I jumped up just in time to see Hammond come busting through the bushes, lickety smash, with Lobelia after him, yelling like an Injun. Hammond wa’n’t yelling; he was saving his breath for running.
“They wa’n’t in sight more’n a minute, but went smashing and crashing through the woods into the distance. ‘Twas too hot to run after ’em, so I waited a spell and then loafed off in a roundabout direction toward where I see ’em go. After I’d walked pretty nigh a mile I heard Hammond whistle. I looked, but didn’t see him nowheres. Then he whistled again, and I see his head sticking out of the top of a palm tree.
“‘Is she gone?’ says he.
“‘Yes, long ago,’ says I. ‘Come down.’
“It took some coaxing to git him down, but he come after a spell, and he was the scaredest man ever I see. I asked him what the matter was.
“”Edge,’ says he, ‘I’m a lost man. That ‘ere ‘orrible ‘Ankins houtrage is either going to marry me or kill me. ‘Edge,’ he says, awful solemn, ‘she tried to kiss me! S’elp me, she did!’
“Well, I set back and laughed. ‘Is that why you run away?’ I says.
“‘No,’ says he. ‘When I wouldn’t let ‘er she hups with a rock as big as my ‘ead and goes for me. There was murder in ‘er eyes, ‘Edge; I see it.’
“Then I laughed more than ever and told him to come back to the shanty, but he wouldn’t. He swore he’d never come back again while Lobelia ‘Ankins was there.
“‘That’s it,’ says he, ‘larf at a feller critter’s sufferings. I honly wish she’d try to kiss you once, that’s all!’
“Well, I couldn’t make him budge, so I decided to go back and get the lay of the land. Lobelia was busy inside the shanty when I got there and looking black as a thundercloud, so I judged ‘twa’n’t best to say nothing to her, and I went down and finished the job on the schooner. At night, when I come in to suppers she met me at the door. She had a big stick in her hand and looked savage. I was a little nervous.
“‘Now, Lobelia ‘Ankins,’ says I, ‘put down that and be sociable, there’s a good girl.’
“‘Course I knew she couldn’t understand me, but I was whistling to keep my courage up, as the saying is.
“”Ammond!’ says she, p’inting toward the woods.
“‘Yes,’ says I, ‘Hammond’s taking a walk for his health.’
“”Ammond!’ says she, louder, and shaking the stick.
“‘Now, Lobelia,’ says I, smiling smooth as butter, ‘do put down that club!’
“”AMMOND!’ she fairly hollers. Then she went through the most blood-curdling pantomime ever was, I reckon. First she comes up to me and taps me on the chest and says, ”Edge.’ Then she goes creeping round the room on tiptoe, p’inting out of the winder all the time as much as to say she was pertending to walk through the woods. Then she p’ints to one of the stumps we used for chairs and screeches “AMMOND! and fetches the stump an awful bang with the club. Then she comes over to me and kinder snuggles up and smiles, and says, ”Edge,’ and tried to put the club in my hand.