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The Lady with the Dog
by
But in this case there was still the diffidence, the angularity of inexperienced youth, an awkward feeling; and there was a sense of consternation as though some one had suddenly knocked at the door. The attitude of Anna Sergeyevna the lady with the dogto what had happened was somehow peculiar, very grave, as though it were her fallso it seemed, and it was strange and inappropriate. Her face dropped and faded, and on both sides of it her long hair hung down mournfully; she mused in a dejected attitude like the woman who was a sinner in an old-fashioned picture.
Its wrong, she said. You will be the first to despise me now.
There was a water-melon on the table. Gurov cut himself a slice and began eating it without haste. There followed at least half an hour of silence.
Anna Sergeyevna was touching; there was about her the purity of a good, simple woman who had seen little of life. The solitary candle burning on the table threw a faint light on her face, yet it was clear that she was very unhappy.
How could I despise you? asked Gurov. You dont know what you are saying.
God forgive me, she said, and her eyes filled with tears. Its awful.
You seem to feel you need to be forgiven.
Forgiven? No. I am a bad, low woman; I despise myself and dont attempt to justify myself. Its not my husband but myself I have deceived. And not only just now; I have been deceiving myself for a long time. My husband may be a good, honest man, but he is a flunkey! I dont know what he does there, what his work is, but I know he is a flunkey! I was twenty when I was married to him. I have been tormented by curiosity; I wanted something better. There must be a different sort of life, I said to myself. I wanted to live! To live, to live! I was fired by curiosity you dont understand it, but, I swear to God, I could not control myself; something happened to me: I could not be restrained. I told my husband I was ill, and came here. And here I have been walking about as though I were dazed, like a mad creature; and now I have become a vulgar, contemptible woman whom any one may despise.
Gurov felt bored already, listening to her. He was irritated by the naüve tone, by this remorse, so unexpected and inopportune; but for the tears in her eyes, he might have thought she was jesting or playing a part.
I dont understand, he said softly. What is it you want?
She hid her face on his breast and pressed close to him.
Believe me, believe me, I beseech you she said. I love a pure, honest life, and sin is loathsome to me. I dont know what I am doing. Simple people say: The Evil One has beguiled me. And I may say of myself now that the Evil One has beguiled me.
Hush, hush! he muttered.
He looked at her fixed, scared eyes, kissed her, talked softly and affectionately, and by degrees she was comforted, and her gaiety returned; they both began laughing.
Afterwards when they went out there was not a soul on the sea-front. The town with its cypresses had quite a deathlike air, but the sea still broke noisily on the shore; a single barge was rocking on the waves, and a lantern was blinking sleepily on it.
They found a cab and drove to Oreanda.
I found out your surname in the hall just now: it was written on the boardVon Diderits, said Gurov. Is your husband a German?