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Well–ye–see–I must tell it my own way–he got killed. In the very first battle Cyrus got killed. The rest uv the soldiers turnt to retreat, because there wuz too many for ’em on the other side. But Cyrus stood right up; he wuz the warrior Bill allowed he wuz goin’ to be; our boy wuz n’t the kind to run. They tell me there wuz bullet holes here, an’ here, an’ here–all over his breast. We always knew our boy wuz a hero!

Ye can thank God ye wuz n’t at the ‘jinin’ farms when the news come that he ‘d got killed. The neighbors, they were there, of course, to kind uv hold us up an’ comfort us. Bill an’ I sot all day in the woodshed, holdin’ hands an’ lookin’ away from each other, so; never said a word; jest sot there, sympathizin’ an’ holdin’ hands. If we ‘d been women, Bill an’ I would uv cried an’ beat our forrids an’ hung round each other’s neck, like the womenfolks done. Bein’ we wuz men, we jest set there in the woodshed, away from all the rest, holdin’ hands an’ sympathizin’.

From that time on, leetle Lizzie wuz our daughter–our very daughter, all that wuz left to us uv our boy. She never shed a tear; crep’ like a shadder ’round the house an’ up the front walk an’ through the garden. Her heart wuz broke. You could see it in the leetle lambkin’s eyes an’ hear it in her voice. Wanted to tell her sometimes when she kissed me and called me “father”–wanted to tell her, “Leetle Lizzie, let me help ye bear yer load. Speak out the sorrer that’s in yer broken heart; speak it out, leetle one, an’ let me help yer bear yer load!”

But it is n’t for a man to have them feelin’s–leastwise, it is n’t for him to tell uv ’em. So I held my peace and made no sign.

She jest drooped, an’ pined, an’ died. One mornin’ in the spring she wuz standin’ in the garden, an’ all at oncet she threw her arms up, so, an’ fell upon her face, an’ when they got to her all thet wuz left to us uv leetle Lizzie wuz her lifeless leetle body. I can’t tell of what happened next–uv the funeral an’ all that. I said this wuz in the spring, an’ so it wuz all around us; but it wuz cold and winter here.

One day mother sez to me: “Reuben,” sez she, softlike, “Marthy an’ I is goin’ to the buryin’ ground for a spell. Don’t you reckon it would be a good time for you to step over an’ see Bill while we ‘re gone?”

“Mebbe so, mother,” sez I.

It wuz a pretty day. Cuttin’ across lots, I thought to myself what I ‘d say to Bill to kind uv comfort him. I made it up that I ‘d speak about the time when we wuz boys together; uv how we used to slide down the meetin’-house hill, an’ go huckleberryin’; uv how I jumped into the pond one day an’ saved him from bein’ drownded; uv the spellin’ school, the huskin’ bees, the choir meetin’s, the sparkin’ times; of the swimmin’ hole, the crow’s nest in the pine-tree, the woodchuck’s hole in the old pasture lot; uv the sunny summer days an’ the snug winter nights when we wuz boys, an’ happy! And then—-

No, no! I could n’t go on like that! I ‘d break down. A man can’t be a man more ‘n jest so far!

Why did mother send me over to see Bill? I ‘d better stayed to home! I felt myself chokin’ up; if I had n’t took a chew uv terbacker, I ‘d ‘ave been cryin’, in a minute!