FullReads

“Oh, as to that—-!” he shrugged.

“—-because Lord Eiran purchased all these lesser diamonds, and very possibly paid for them.”

Then Mr. Sheridan reflected, stood abashed, and said: “Incomparable Esther Jane, I confess I am only a man. You are entirely right. To purloin any of these little diamonds would be an abominable action, whereas to make off with the only valuable one is simply a stroke of retribution. I will, therefore, attempt to prise it out with a nutpick.”

Three constables came suddenly into the room. “We hae been tauld this missy is a suspectit thieving body,” their leader cried. “Esther Jane Ogle, ye maun gae with us i’ the law’s name. Ou ay, lass, ye ken weel eneugh wha robbit auld Sir Aleexander McRae, sae dinna ye say naething tae your ain preejudice, lest ye hae tae account for it a’.”

Mr. Sheridan rose to the occasion. “My exceedingly good friend, Angus Howden! I am unwilling to concede that yeomen can excel in gentlemanly accomplishments, but it is only charity to suppose all three of you as drunk as any duke that ever honored me with his acquaintance.” This he drawled, and appeared magisterially to await an explanation.

“Hout, Mr. Sheridan,” commenced the leading representative of justice, “let that flee stick i’ the wa’–e dinna mean tae tell me, Sir, that ye are acquaintit wi’ this–ou ay, tae pleasure ye, I micht e’en say wi’ this—-“

“This lady, probably?” Mr. Sheridan hazarded.

“‘Tis an unco thing,” the constable declared, “but that wad be the word was amaist at my tongue’s tip.”

“Why, undoubtedly,” Mr. Sheridan assented. “I rejoice that, being of French extraction, and unconversant with your somewhat cryptic patois, the lady in question is the less likely to have been sickened by your extravagances in the way of misapprehension. I candidly confess such imbecility annoys me. What!” he cried out, “what if I marry! is matrimony to be ranked with arson? And what if my cousin, Eiran, affords me a hiding-place wherein to sneak through our honeymoon after the cowardly fashion of all modern married couples! Am I in consequence compelled to submit to the invasions of an intoxicated constabulary?” His rage was terrific.

“Voila la seule devise. Ils me connaissent, ils ont confidence dans moi. Si, taisez-vous! Si non, vous serez arretee et mise dans la prison, comme une caractere suspicieuse!” Mr. Sheridan exhorted Miss Ogle to this intent with more of earnestness than linguistic perfection; and he rejoiced to see that instantly she caught at her one chance of plausibly accounting for her presence at Bemerside, and of effecting a rescue from this horrid situation.

“But I also spik the English,” she sprightlily announced. “I am appleed myself at to learn its by heart. Certainly you look for a needle in a hay bundle, my gentlemans. I am no stealer of the grand road, but the wife of Mistaire Sheridan, and her presence will say to you the remains.”

“You see!” cried Mr. Sheridan, in modest triumph. “In short, I am a bridegroom unwarrantably interrupted in his first tete-a-tete, I am responsible for this lady and all her past and its appurtenances; and, in a phrase, for everything except the course of conduct I will undoubtedly pursue should you be visible at the conclusion of the next five minutes.”

His emphasis was such that the police withdrew with a concomitant of apologies.

“And now I claim my bond,” said Mr. Sheridan, when they were once again free from intrusion. “For we two are in Scotland, where the common declaration of a man and woman that they are married constitutes a marriage.”

“Oh—-!” she exclaimed, and stood encrimsoned.

“Indeed, I must confess that the day’s work has been a trick throughout. The diamond was pawned years ago. This trinket here is a copy in paste and worth perhaps some seven shillings sixpence. And those fellows were not constables, but just my cousin Eiran and two footmen in disguise. Nay, madam, you will learn with experience that to display unfailing candor is not without exception the price of happiness.”