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PAGE 8

The Hoodlum Band
by [?]

“In consummation of a fatal vow I made never to spare educational instructors,” interrupted Jenkins.

“But in her captivity,” continued Mushymush, “she managed to stain her face with poke-berry juice, and mingling with the Indian maidens was enabled to pass for one of the tribe. Once undetected, she boldly ingratiated herself with the Boy Chief,–how honestly and devotedly he best can tell,–for I, Mushymush, the little sister of the Boy Chief, am Eliza Jane Sniffen.”

The Pirate Prodigy clasped her in his arms. The Boy Chief, raising his hand, ejaculated:–

“Bless you, my children!”

“There is but one thing wanting to complete this reunion,” said Chitterlings, after a pause, but the hurried entrance of a scout stopped his utterance.

“A commissioner from the Great Father in Washington.”

“Scalp him!” shrieked the Boy Chief; “this is no time for diplomatic trifling.”

“We have, but he still insists upon seeing you, and has sent in his card.”

The Boy Chief took it, and read aloud, in agonized accents:–

“Charles F. Hall Golightly, late Page in United States Senate, and Acting Commissioner of United States.”

In another moment, Golightly, pale, bleeding, and, as it were, prematurely bald, but still cold and intellectual, entered the wigwam. They fell upon his neck and begged his forgiveness.

“Don’t mention it,” he said, quietly; “these things must and will happen under our present system of government. My story is brief. Obtaining political influence through caucuses, I became at last Page in the Senate. Through the exertions of political friends I was appointed clerk to the commissioner whose functions I now represent. Knowing through political spies in your own camp who you were, I acted upon the physical fears of the commissioner, who was an ex-clergyman, and easily induced him to deputize me to consult with you. In doing so, I have lost my scalp, but as the hirsute signs of juvenility have worked against my political progress I do not regret it. As a partially bald young man I shall have more power. The terms that I have to offer are simply this: you can do everything you want, go anywhere you choose, if you will only leave this place. I have a hundred thousand-dollar draft on the United States Treasury in my pocket at your immediate disposal.”

“But what’s to become of me?” asked Chitterlings.

“Your case has already been under advisement. The Secretary of State, who is an intelligent man, is determined to recognize you as de jure and de facto the only loyal representative of the Patagonian government. You may safely proceed to Washington as its envoy extraordinary. I dine with the secretary next week.”

“And yourself, old fellow?”

“I only wish that twenty years from now you will recognize by your influence and votes the rights of C. F. H. Golightly to the presidency.”

And here ends our story. Trusting that my dear young friends may take whatever example or moral their respective parents and guardians may deem fittest from these pages, I hope in future years to portray further the career of those three young heroes I have already introduced in the spring-time of life to their charitable consideration.