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The great theory he had established and which was the basis of all his operations was this: “Every Who’s Who is proud of every other Who’s Who,” and “No Who’s Who can refuse the son, cousin, or nephew of any other Who’s Who five dollars when asked for one dollar and eighty cents.”

The Bald Impostor’s operation was simple in the extreme. He went to Riverbank. He found, let us say, the name of Judge Orley Morvis in “Who’s Who.” Then he looked up Chief Justice Bassio Bates in the latest “Who’s Who,” gathered a few facts regarding him from that useful volume, and called on Judge Orley Morvis. Having a judge to impose upon he began by introducing himself as the favorite nephew of Chief Justice Bassio Bates.

“Being in town,” he would say, when the Judge was mellowed by the thought that a nephew of Bassio Bates was before him, “I remembered that you were located here. My uncle has often spoken to me of your admirable decision in the Higgins-Hoopmeyer calf case.”

The Higgins-Hoopmeyer case is mentioned in “Who’s Who.” The Judge can’t help being pleased to learn that Chief Justice Bassio Bates approved of his decision in the Higgins-Hoopmeyer case.

“My uncle has often regretted that you have never met,” says the Bald Impostor. “If he had known I was to be in Riverbank he would have sent his copy of your work, ‘Liens and Torts,’ to be autographed.”

“Liens and Torts” is the one volume written by Judge Orley Morvis mentioned in “Who’s Who.” The Judge becomes mellower than ever.

“Ah, yes!” says the Judge, tickled, “and how is your uncle, may I ask?”

“In excellent health considering his age. You know he is ninety-seven,” says the Bald Impostor, having got the “b. June 23, 1817″ from “Who’s Who.” “But his toe still bothers him. A man of his age, you know. Such things heal slowly.”

“No! I didn’t hear of that,” says the Judge, intensely interested. He is going to get some intimate details.

“Oh, it was quite dreadful!” says the Bald Impostor. “He dropped a volume of Coke on Littleton on it last March–no, it was April, because it was April he spent at my mother’s.”

All this is pure invention, and that is where the Bald Impostor leads all others. Even as he invents details of the sore toe, you see, he introduces his mother.

“She was taken sick early in April,” he says, and presently he has Dr. Somebody-Big out of “Who’s Who” attending to the Chief Justice’s sore toe and advising the mother to try the Denver climate. And the next thing the Judge knows the Bald Impostor is telling that he is now on his way back from Denver to Chicago.

So then it comes out. The Bald Impostor sits on the edge of his chair and becomes nervous and perspires. Perspiring is a sure sign a man is unaccustomed to asking a loan, and the Bald Impostor is entitled to start the first School of Free Perspiring in America. He can perspire in December, when the furnace is out and the windows are open. All his head pores have self-sprinklers or something of the sort. He is as free with beads of perspiration as the early Indian traders were with beads of glass. He mops them with a white silk handkerchief.

So he perspires, and out comes the cruel admission. He needs just one dollar and eighty cents! As a matter of fact, he has stopped at Riverbank because his uncle had so often spoken of Judge Orley Morvis–and really, one dollar and eighty cents would see him through nicely.

“But, my dear boy!” says the Judge kindly. “The fare is six dollars. And your meals?”

“A dollar-eighty is enough,” insists the Bald Impostor. “I have enough to make up the fare, with one-eighty added. And I couldn’t ask you to pay for my meals. I’ll–I have a few cents and can buy a sandwich.”