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PAGE 6

The Goophered Grapevine
by [?]

“One day in de winter Mars Dugal’ went ter town, en wuz santerin’ ‘long de Main Street, when who should he meet but Henry’s noo marster. Dey said ‘Hoddy,’ en Mars Dugal’ ax ‘im ter hab a seegyar; en atter dey r
un on awhile ’bout de craps en de weather, Mars Dugal’ ax ‘im, sorter keerless, like ez ef he des thought of it, —

“‘How you like de nigger I sole you las’ spring?’

“Henry’s marster shuck his head en knock de ashes off’n his seegyar.

“‘Spec’ I made a bad bahgin when I bought dat nigger. Henry done good wuk all de summer, but sence de fall set in he ‘pears ter be sorter pinin’ away. Dey ain’ nuffin pertickler de matter wid ‘im — leastways de doctor say so — ‘cep’n’ a tech er de rheumatiz; but his ha’r is all fell out, en ef he don’t pick up his strenk mighty soon, I spec’ I’m gwine ter lose ‘im.”

“Dey smoked on awhile, en bimeby ole mars say, ‘Well, a bahgin’s a bahgin, but you en me is good fren’s, en I doan wan’ ter see you lose all de money you paid fer dat digger [sic]; en ef w’at you say is so, en I ain’t ‘sputin’ it, he ain’t wuf much now. I spec’s you wukked him too ha’d dis summer, er e’se de swamps down here don’t agree wid de san’-hill nigger. So you des lemme know, en ef he gits any wusser I’ll be willin’ ter gib yer five hund’ed dollars fer ‘im, en take my chances on his livin’.’

“Sho nuff, when Henry begun ter draw up wid de rheumatiz en it look like he gwine ter die fer sho, his noo marster sen’ fer Mars Dugal’, en Mars Dugal’ gin him what he promus, en brung Henry home ag’in. He tuk good keer uv ‘im dyoin’ er de winter, — give ‘im w’iskey ter rub his rheumatiz, en terbacker ter smoke, en all he want ter eat, — ‘caze a nigger w’at he could make a thousan’ dollars a year off’n didn’ grow on eve’y huckleberry bush.

“Nex’ spring, w’en de sap ris en Henry’s ha’r commence’ ter sprout, Mars Dugal’ sole ‘im ag’in, down in Robeson County dis time; en he kep’ dat sellin’ business up fer five year er mo’. Henry nebber say nuffin ’bout de goopher ter his noo marsters, ‘caze he know he gwine ter be tuk good keer uv de nex’ winter, w’en Mars Dugal’ buy him back. En Mars Dugal’ made ’nuff money off’n Henry ter buy anudder plantation ober on Beaver Crick.

“But long ’bout de een’ er dat five year dey come a stranger ter stop at de plantation. De fus’ day he ‘uz dere he went out wid Mars Dugal’ en spent all de mawnin’ lookin’ ober de vimya’d, en atter dinner dey spent all de evenin’ playin’ kya’ds. De niggers soon ‘skiver’ dat he wuz a Yankee, en dat he come down ter Norf C’lina fer ter learn de w’ite folks how to raise grapes en make wine. He promus Mars Dugal’ he cud make de grapevimes b’ar twice’t ez many grapes, en dat de noo wine-press he wuz a-sellin’ would make mo’ d’n twice’t ez many gallons er wine. En ole Mars Dugal’ des drunk it all in, des ‘peared ter be bewitched wit dat Yankee. W’en de darkies see dat Yankee runnin’ ‘roun de vimya’d en diggin’ under de grapevimes, dey shuk dere heads, en ‘lowed dat dey feared Mars Dugal’ losin’ his min’. Mars Dugal’ had all de dirt dug away fum under de roots er all de scuppernon’ vimes, an’ let ’em stan’ dat away fer a week er mo’. Den dat Yankee made de niggers fix up a mixtry er lime en ashes en manyo, en po’ it roun’ de roots er de grapevimes. Den he ‘vise’ Mars Dugal’ fer ter trim de vimes close’t, en Mars Dugal’ tuck ‘n done eve’ything de Yankee tole him ter do. Dyoin’ all er dis time, mind yer, ‘e wuz libbin’ off’n de fat er de lan’, at de big house, en playin’ kyards wid Mars Dugal’ eve’y night; en dey say Mars Dugal’ los’ mo’n a thousan’ dollars dyoin’ er de week dat Yankee wuz a runnin’ de grapevimes.