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PAGE 4

The Goophered Grapevine
by [?]

“W’en de scuppernon’ season ‘uz ober fer dat year, Mars Dugal’ foun’ he had made fifteen hund’ed gallon er wine; en one er de niggers hearn him laffin’ wid de oberseah fit ter kill, en sayin’ dem fifteen hund’ed gallon er wine wuz monst’us good intrus’ on de ten dollars he laid out on de vimya’d. So I ‘low ez he paid Aun’ Peggy ten dollars fer to goopher de grapevimes.

“De goopher didn’ wuk no mo’ tel de nex’ summer, w’en ‘long to’ds de middle er de season one er de fiel’ han’s died; en ez dat lef’ Mars Dugal’ sho’t er han’s, he went off ter town fer ter buy anudder. He fotch de noo nigger home wid ‘im. He wuz er ole nigger, er de color er a gingy-cake, en ball ez a hoss-apple on de top er his head. He wuz a peart ole nigger, do’, en could do a big day’s wuk.

“Now it happen dat one er de niggers on de nex’ plantation, one er ole

Mars Henry Brayboy’s niggers, had runned away de day befo’, en tuk ter de swamp, en ole Mars Dugal’ en some er de yuther nabor w’ite folks had gone out wid dere guns en dere dogs fer ter he’p ’em hunt fer de nigger; en de han’s on our own plantation wuz all so flusterated dat we fuhgot ter tell de noo han’ ’bout de goopher on de scuppernon’ vimes. Co’se he smell de grapes en see de vimes, an atter dahk de fus’ thing he done wuz ter slip off ter de grapevimes ‘dout sayin’ nuffin ter nobody. Nex’ mawnin’ he tole some er de niggers ’bout de fine bait er scuppernon’ he et de night befo’.

“W’en dey tole ‘im ’bout de goopher on de grapevimes, he ‘uz dat tarrified dat he turn pale, en look des like he gwine ter die right in his tracks. De oberseah come up en axed w’at ‘uz de matter; en w’en dey tole ‘im Henry be’n eatin’ er de scuppernon’s, en got de goopher on ‘im, he gin Henry a big drink er w’iskey, en ‘low dat de nex’ rainy day he take ‘im ober ter Aun’ Peggy’s, en see ef she wouldn’ take de goopher off’n him, seein’ ez he didn’ know nuffin erbout it tel he done et de grapes.

“Sho nuff, it rain de nex’ day, en de oberseah went ober ter Aun’ Peggy’s wid Henry. En Aun’ Peggy say dat bein’ ez Henry didn’ know ’bout de goopher, en et de grapes in ign’ance er de quinseconces, she reckon she mought be able fer ter take de goopher off’n him. So she fotch out er bottle wid some cunjuh medicine in it, en po’d some out in a go’d fer Henry ter drink. He manage ter git it down; he say it tas’e like whiskey wid sump’n bitter in it. She ‘lowed dat ‘ud keep de goopher off’n him tel de spring; but w’en de sap begin ter rise in de grapevimes he ha’ ter come en see her agin, en she tell him w’at e’s ter do.

“Nex’ spring, w’en de sap commence’ ter rise in de scuppernon’ vime, Henry tuk a ham one night. Whar’d he git de ham? I doan know; dey wa’nt no hams on de plantation ‘cep’n’ w’at ‘uz in de smoke-house, but I never see Henry ’bout de smoke-house. But ez I wuz a-sayin’, he tuk de ham ober ter Aun’ Peggy’s; en Aun’ Peggy tole ‘im dat w’en Mars Dugal’ begin ter prume de grapevimes, he mus’ go en take ‘n scrape off de sap whar it ooze out’n de cut een’s er de vimes, en ‘n’int his ball head wid it; en ef he do dat once’t a year de goopher wouldn’ wuk agin ‘im long ez he done it. En bein’ ez he fotch her de ham, she fix’ it so he kin eat all de scuppernon’ he want.