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“The house was divided through the middle by a narrow hallway; that part to the right as one entered the front door was called by Captain Abner the ‘bachelor side,’ while the portion to the left he designated as the ‘married side.’ The right half might have suggested a forecastle, and was neat and clean, with sanded floors and everything coiled up and stowed away in true shipshape fashion. But the other half was viewed by Captain Abner as something in the quarter-deck style. Exactly half the hall was carpeted, and the little parlor opening from it was also carpeted, painted, and papered, and filled with a great variety of furniture and ornaments which the captain had picked up by sea and land. Everything was very pretty and tasteful, according to the captain’s ideas of taste and art, and everything was sacred; no collector could have bought anything out of that little parlor, no matter how much money he might offer.

“This parlor and the room above had been furnished, decorated, and ornamented for the future mistress of Captain Abner’s household, and he was ready to dedicate them to her services whenever he should be so lucky as to find her. So far, as he sometimes expressed himself, he had not had a chance to sing out, ‘There she blows!’

“One afternoon, when Captain Abner was engaged in dusting the ornaments in the parlor, his good friend Samuel Twitty stood in the doorway and accosted him. Sam Twitty had been mate to Captain Abner, and as he had always been accustomed to stand by his captain, he stood by him when he left the sea for the land; although they did not live in the same house, they were great cronies, and were always ready to stand by each other, no matter what happened. Sam’s face and figure were distinguished by a pleasant plumpness; he was two or three years the junior of Captain Abner, and his slippered feet were very flat upon the ground. He held his pipe behind his back in such a position that it hung over the uncarpeted part of the hallway. A pipe in the married part of the house was never allowed.

“‘Sam,’ said Captain Abner, ‘you’ve hove in sight jes at the right minute, for I’m kind o’ puzzled. Here’s this conch-shell, which is the biggest I ever seed, and a king conch-shell at that, and I can’t make up my mind whether she’d like it here in the middle of the mantelpiece, or whether she’d like to have the gilded idol here, where it would be the fust thing she’d see when she came into the room. Sometimes I’m inclined in the way of the heathen idol, and sometimes in the way of the king conch-shell. And how am I to know which she likes? What do you think about it?’

“‘Well, now, Cap’n Abner,’ said Sam, his head cocked a little to one side, ‘that’s a pretty hard question to answer, considerin’ I don’t know who she is and what kind o’ taste she’s got. But I’ll tell you what I’d do if I was you. I’d put that king conch-shell on the mantelpiece, or I would put the gilded idol there, it wouldn’t matter much which, and then I’d put the other one handy, so that when she fust come in, and you could see she didn’t like whatever it was that was in the middle of the mantelpiece, you could whip it off and put the other thing there almost afore she knowed it.’

“‘Sam,’ said Captain Abner, ‘that’s a real good rule to go by, and it looks to me as if it might fit other things besides gilded idols and conch-shells. And now that you’re here I’d like you to stay and take supper with me. I’ve got something to tell you.’

“After the evening meal, which was prepared by Captain Abner and his guest, who were both expert maritime cooks and housekeepers, these two old friends sat down to smoke their pipes, the parlor door having been carefully shut.