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But Old Man Smith found it for him just by glancing at his purple socks! And his plaid necktie. And his plush waistcoat.

“Oh, yes, of course, it’s perfectly possible,” said Old Man Smith, “that you dropped it from the basket of a balloon on your way to a Missionary Meeting.–But have you looked in the Young Widow Gayette’s back hall? ‘Bout three pegs from the door?–Where the shadows are fairly private?–One dollar, please!” said Old Man Smith.

And when the Old Preacher lost the Hymn Book that George Washington had given his grandfather, everybody started to take up the floor of the church to see if it had fallen down through a crack in the pulpit!

But Old Man Smith sent a boy running to beg ’em not to tear down the church till they’d looked in the Old Lawyer’s pantry,–’bout the second shelf between the ice chest and the cheese crock. Sunday evening after meeting was rather a lean time with Old Preachers he said he’d always noticed.–And Old Lawyers was noted for their fat larders.–And there were certain things about cheese somehow that seemed to be soothin’ to the memory.

“Why, how perfectly extraordinary!” said everybody.

“One dollar, please!” said Old Man Smith again.

And when Little Tommy Bent ran away to the city his Mother hunted all the hospitals for him! And made ’em drag the river! And wore a long black veil all the time! And howled!

But Old Man Smith said, “Oh Shucks! It ain’t at all probable, is it, that he was aimin’ at hospitals or rivers when he went away?–What’s the use of worryin’ over the things he weren’t aimin’ at till you’ve investigated the things he was?“

“Aimin’ at?” sobbed Mrs. Bent. “Aimin’ at?–Who in the world could ever tell what any little boy was aimin’ at?”

“And there’s something in that, too!” said Old Man Smith. “What did he look like?”

“Like his father,” said Mrs. Bent.

“U-m-m. Plain, you mean?” said Old Man Smith.

“He was only nine years old,” sobbed Mrs. Bent. “But he did love Meetings so! No matter what they was about he was always hunting for some new Meetings to go to! He just seemed naturally to dote hisself on any crowd of people that was all facing the other way looking at somebody else! He had a little cowlick at the back of his neck!” sobbed Mrs. Bent. “It was a comical little cowlick! People used to laugh at it! He never liked to sit any place where there was anybody sitting behind him!”

“Now you’re talking!” said Old Man Smith. “Will he answer to the name of ‘Little Tommy Bent?'”

“He will not!” said Mrs. Bent “He’s that stubborn! He’s exactly like his Father!”

Old Man Smith wrote an entirely new advertisement to put in the papers. It didn’t say anything about Rivers! Or Hospitals! Or ‘Dead or Alive!’ It just said:

LOST: In the back seat of Most Any Meeting,
a Very Plain Little Boy. Will not
answer to the name of “Little Tommy
Bent.” Stubborn, like his Father.

“We’ll put that in about being ‘stubborn,'” said Old Man Smith, “because it sounds quaint and will interest people.”

“It won’t interest Mr. Bent!” sobbed Mrs. Bent. “And it seems awful cruel to make it so public about the child’s being plain!”

Old Man Smith spoke coldly to her.

“Would you rather lose him–handsome,” he said. “Or find him–plain?“

Mrs. Bent seemed to think that she’d rather find him plain.

She found him within two days! He was awful plain. His shoes were all worn out. And his stomach was flat. He was at a meeting of men who sell bicycles to China. The men were feeling pretty sick. They’d sent hundreds and hundreds of he-bicycles to China and the Chinamen couldn’t ride ’em on account of their skirts!–It was the smell of an apple in a man’s pocket that made Tommy Bent follow the man to the meeting.–And he answered to every name except ‘Tommy Bent’ so they knew it was he!