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The First And Last
by
“Simple! How simple! To ask what he was to do! It was like Larry! And he said:
“You were not seen, you think?” “It’s a dark street. There was no one about.”
“When did you leave this girl the second time?”
“About seven o’clock.”
“Where did you go?”
“To my rooms.”
“In Fitzroy Street?”
“Yes.”
“Did anyone see you come in?”
“No.”
“What have you done since?”
“Sat there.”
“Not been out?”
“No.”
“Not seen the girl?”
“No.”
“You don’t know, then, what she’s done since?”
“No.”
“Would she give you away?”
“Never.”
“Would she give herself away–hysteria?”
“No.”
“Who knows of your relations with her?”
“No one.”
“No one?”
“I don’t know who should, Keith.”
“Did anyone see you going in last night, when you first went to her?”
“No. She lives on the ground floor. I’ve got keys.”
“Give them to me. What else have you that connects you with her?”
“Nothing.”
“In your rooms?”
“No.”
“No photographs. No letters?”
“No.”
“Be careful.”
“Nothing.”
“No one saw you going back to her the second time?”
“No.”
“No one saw you leave her in the morning?”
“No.”
“You were fortunate. Sit down again, man. I must think.”
Think! Think out this accursed thing–so beyond all thought, and all belief. But he could not think. Not a coherent thought would come. And he began again:
“Was it his first reappearance with her?”
“Yes.”
“She told you so?”
“Yes.”
“How did he find out where she was?”
“I don’t know.”
“How drunk were you?”
“I was not drunk.”
“How much had you drunk?”
“About two bottles of claret–nothing.”
“You say you didn’t mean to kill him?”
“No-God knows!”
“That’s something.”
“What made you choose the arch?”
“It was the first dark place.”
“Did his face look as if he had been strangled?”
“Don’t!”
“Did it?”
“Yes.”
“Very disfigured?”
“Yes.”
“Did you look to see if his clothes were marked?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Why not? My God! If you had done it!”
“You say he was disfigured. Would he be recognisable?”
“I don’t know.”
“When she lived with him last–where was that?”
“I don’t know for certain. Pimlico, I think.”
“Not Soho?”
“No.”
“How long has she been at the Soho place?”
“Nearly a year.”
“Always the same rooms?”
“Yes.”
“Is there anyone living in that house or street who would be likely to know her as his wife?”
“I don’t think so.”
“What was he?”
“I should think he was a professional ‘bully.'”
“I see. Spending most of his time abroad, then?”
“Yes.”
“Do you know if he was known to the police?”
“I haven’t heard of it.”
“Now, listen, Larry. When you leave here go straight home, and don’t go out till I come to you, to-morrow morning. Promise that!”
“I promise.”
“I’ve got a dinner engagement. I’ll think this out. Don’t drink. Don’t talk! Pull yourself together.”
“Don’t keep me longer than you can help, Keith!”
That white face, those eyes, that shaking hand! With a twinge of pity in the midst of all the turbulence of his revolt, and fear, and disgust Keith put his hand on his brother’s shoulder, and said:
“Courage!”
And suddenly he thought: ‘My God! Courage! I shall want it all myself!’
II
Laurence Darrant, leaving his brother’s house in the Adelphi, walked northwards, rapidly, slowly, rapidly again. For, if there are men who by force of will do one thing only at a time, there are men who from lack of will do now one thing, now another; with equal intensity. To such natures, to be gripped by the Nemesis which attends the lack of self-control is no reason for being more self-controlled. Rather does it foster their pet feeling: “What matter? To-morrow we die!” The effort of will required to go to Keith had relieved, exhausted and exasperated him. In accordance with those three feelings was the progress of his walk. He started from the door with the fixed resolve to go home and stay there quietly till Keith came. He was in Keith’s hands, Keith would know what was to be done. But he had not gone three hundred yards before he felt so utterly weary, body and soul, that if he had but had a pistol in his pocket he would have shot himself in the street. Not even the thought of the girl–this young unfortunate with her strange devotion, who had kept him straight these last five months, who had roused in him a depth of feeling he had never known before–would have availed against that sudden black defection. Why go on–a waif at the mercy of his own nature, a straw blown here and there by every gust which rose in him? Why not have done with it for ever, and take it out in sleep?