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The Eventful Trip of the Midnight Cry
by
“That ‘s so every time!” he would say, with a lunge at the forestick. “I’ll bate he was glad then!” with another stick flung on in just the right spot. “Golly! but that served ’em right!” with a thrust at the backlog.
The New England story seemed to flourish under these conditions: a couple of good hard benches in a store or tavern, where you could not only smoke and chew but could keep on your hat (there was not a man in York County in those days who could say anything worth hearing with his hat off); the blazing logs to poke; and a cavernous fireplace into which tobacco juice could be neatly and judiciously directed. Those were good old times, and the stage-coach was a mighty thing when school children were taught to take off their hats and make a bow as the United States mail passed the old stage tavern.
Life Lane’s coaching days were over long before this story begins, but the Midnight Cry was still in pretty fair condition, and was driven ostensibly by Jeremiah Todd, who lived on the “back-nippin'” road from Bonny Eagle to Limington.
When I say ostensibly driven, I but follow the lead of the villagers, who declared that, though Jerry held the reins, Mrs. Todd drove the stage, as she drove everything else. As a proof of this lady’s strong individuality, she was still generally spoken of as “the Widder Bixby,” though she had been six years wedded to Jeremiah Todd. The Widder Bixby, then, was strong, self-reliant, valiant, indomitable. Jerry Todd was, to use his wife’s own characterization, so soft you could stick a cat’s tail into him without ruffling the fur. He was always alluded to as “the Widder Bixby’s husband;” but that was no new or special mortification, for he had been known successively as Mrs. Todd’s youngest baby, the Widder Todd’s only son, Susan Todd’s brother, and, when Susan Todd’s oldest boy fought at Chapultepec, William Peck’s uncle.
The Widder Bixby’s record was far different. She was the mildest of the four Stover sisters of Scarboro, and the quartette was supposed to have furnished more kinds of temper than had ever before come from one household. When Peace, the eldest, was mad, she frequently kicked the churn out of the kitchen door, cream and all,–and that lost her a husband.
Love, the second, married, and according to local tradition once kicked her husband all the way up Foolscap Hill with a dried cod-fish. Charity, the third, married too, — for the Stovers of Scarboro were handsome girls, but she got a fit mate in her spouse. She failed to intimidate him, for he was a foeman worthy of her steel; but she left his bed and board, and left in a manner that kept up the credit of the Stover family of Scarboro.
They had had a stormy breakfast one morning before he started to Portland with a load of hay. “Good-by,” she called, as she stood in the door, “you’ve seen the last of me!” “No such luck!” he said, and whipped up his horse. Charity baked a great pile of biscuits, and left them on the kitchen table with a pitcher of skimmed milk. (She wouldn’t give him anything to complain of, not she!) She then put a few clothes in a bundle, and, tying on her shaker, prepared to walk to Pleasant River, twelve miles distant. As she locked the door and put the key in its accustomed place under the mat, a pleasant young man drove up and explained that he was the advance agent of the Sypher’s Two-in-One Menagerie and Circus, soon to appear in that vicinity. He added that he should be glad to give her five tickets to the entertainment if she would allow him to paste a few handsome posters on that side of her barn next the road; that their removal was attended with trifling difficulty, owing to the nature of a very superior paste invented by himself; that any small boy, in fact, could tear them off in an hour, and be well paid by the gift of a ticket.