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The Dwarf Nosey
by
But when the rising sun awaked him, he began to think seriously of how he should support himself, now that his parents had cast him off. He was too proud to serve as a sign for a barber’s shop; he would not travel round as a mountebank and exhibit himself for money. What should he do? It now occurred to him that as a squirrel he had made great progress in the art of cookery; he believed, not without reason, that he could hold his own with most cooks; and so he resolved to make use of his knowledge.
As soon as the streets began to show signs of life, and the morning was fairly advanced, he entered the church and offered up a prayer. Then he started on his way. The duke, the ruler of the country, was a well-known glutton and high-liver, who loved a good table, and selected his cooks from all parts of the world. To his palace the dwarf betook himself. When he came to the outer gate, the guards asked him what he wanted, and had a little sport with him. He asked to see the master of the kitchen. They laughed, and led him through the court, and at every step servants stopped to look after him, laughed loudly, and fell in behind him, so that by and by a monster procession of servants of all degrees crowded the steps of the palace. The stable-boys threw away their curry-combs, the messengers ran, the carpet-beaters forgot to dust their carpets, everybody pushed and crowded, and there was as much noise and confusion as if the enemy had been before the gates; and the shout–“A dwarf! a dwarf! Have you seen the dwarf!”–filled the air.
The steward of the palace now appeared at the door, with a stern face, and a large whip in his hand. “For heaven’s sake, you dogs, why do you make such a noise? Don’t you know that the duke still sleeps?” and thereupon he raised the lash and let it fall on the backs of some stable-boys and guards.
“Oh, master!” cried they, “don’t you see any thing? We bring here a dwarf–a dwarf such as you have never seen before.” The steward was able to control his laughter only with great difficulty, when he saw the dwarf. But it would not do to compromise his dignity by a laugh, so he drove away the crowd with his whip, led the dwarf into the palace, and asked him what he wanted. When he heard that Jacob wanted to see the master of the kitchen, he replied:
“You are mistaken, sonny; it is me, the steward of the palace, whom you wish to see. You would like to become body-dwarf to the duke. Isn’t that so?”
“No, master,” answered the dwarf; “I am a clever cook, and experienced in all kinds of rare dishes; if you will take me to the master of the kitchen perhaps he can make use of my services.”
“Every one to his own way, little man; but you are certainly an ill-advised youth. In the kitchen! Why, as body-dwarf you would have no work to do, and food and drink to your heart’s desire, and fine clothes. Still, we will see. Your art will hardly be up to the standard of a cook for the duke, and you are too good for a scullion.” With these words the steward took him by the hand and led him to the rooms of the master of the kitchen.
“Gracious master!” said the dwarf, bowing so low that his hands rested on the floor, “have you no use for a clever cook?”
The master of the kitchen looked him over from head to foot, and burst into a loud laugh, “What? You a cook? Do you think that our hearths are so low that you can see the top of one by standing on your toes and lifting your head out of your shoulders? Oh dear, little fellow! Whoever sent you to me for employment as a cook has made a fool of you.” So spoke the master of the kitchen, laughing loudly; and the steward and all the servants in the room joined in the laugh.