FullReads

Bailiff’s Daughter.–“It is a lovely day.”

True Love.–“Yes, but the drought is getting rather oppressive, don’t you think?”

Bailiff’s Daughter.–“The crops certainly need rain, and the feed is becoming scarce.”

True Love.–“Are you a farmer’s wife?”

Bailiff’s Daughter.–“Oh no! that is a promotion to look forward to; I am now only a Goose Girl.”

True Love.–“Indeed! If I wished to be severe I might remark: that I am sure you have found at last your true vocation!”

Bailiff’s Daughter.–“It was certainly through no desire to please you that I chose it.”

True Love.–“I am quite sure of that! Are you staying in this part?”

Bailiff’s Daughter.–“Oh no! I live many miles distant, over an extremely rough road. And you?”

True Love.–“I am still at the Hydropathic; or at least my luggage is there.”

Bailiff’s Daughter.–“It must be very pleasant to attract you so long.”

True Love.–“Not so pleasant as it was.”

Bailiff’s Daughter.–“No? A new proprietor, I suppose.”

True Love.–“No; same proprietor; but the house is empty.”

Bailiff’s Daughter (yawning purposely).–“That is strange; the hotels are usually so full at this season. Why did so many leave?”

True Love.–“As a matter of fact, only one left. ‘Full’ and ’empty’ are purely relative terms. I call a hotel full when it has you in it, empty when it hasn’t.”

Bailiff’s Daughter (dying to laugh, but concealing her feelings).–“I trust my bulk does not make the same impression on the general public! Well, I won’t detain you longer; good afternoon; I must go home to my evening work.”

True Love.–“I will accompany you.”

Bailiff’s Daughter.–“If you are a gentleman you will remain where you are.”

True Love.–“In the road? Perhaps; but if I am a man I shall follow you; they always do, I notice. What are those foolish bundles in the back of that silly cart?”

Bailiff’s Daughter.–“Feed for the pony, please, sir; fish for dinner; randans and barley meal for the poultry; and four unsold rabbits. Wouldn’t you like them? Only one and sixpence apiece. Shot at three o’clock this morning.”

True Love.–“Thanks; I don’t like mine shot so early.”

Bailiff’s Daughter.–“Oh, well! doubtless I shall be able to dispose of them on my way home, though times is ‘ard!”

True Love.–“Do you mean that you will “peddle” them along the road?”

Bailiff’s Daughter.–“You understand me better than usual,–in fact to perfection.”

He dismounts and strides to the back of the cart, lifts the covers, seizes the rabbits, flings some silver contemptuously into the basket, and looks about him for a place to bury his bargain. A small boy approaching in the far distance will probably bag the game.

Bailiff’s Daughter (modestly).–“Thanks for your trade, sir, rather ungraciously bestowed, and we ‘opes for a continuance of your past fyvors.”

True Love (leaning on the wheel of the trap).–“Let us stop this nonsense. What did you hope to gain by running away?”

Bailiff’s Daughter.–“Distance and absence.”

True Love.–“You knew you couldn’t prevent my offering myself to you sometime or other.”

Bailiff’s Daughter.–“Perhaps not; but I could at least defer it, couldn’t I?”

True Love.–“Why postpone the inevitable?”

Bailiff’s Daughter.–“Doubtless I shrank from giving you the pain of a refusal.”

True Love.–“Perhaps; but do you know what I suspect?”

Bailiff’s Daughter.–“I’m not a suspicious person, thank goodness!”

True Love.–“That, on the contrary, you are wilfully withholding from me the joy of acceptance.”

Bailiff’s Daughter.–“If I intended to accept you, why did I run away?”

True Love.–“To make yourself more desirable and precious, I suppose.”

Bailiff’s Daughter (with the most confident coquetry).–“Did I succeed?”

True Love.–“No; you failed utterly.”

Bailiff’s Daughter (secretly piqued).–“Then I am glad I tried it.”

True Love.–“You couldn’t succeed because you were superlatively desirable and precious already; but you should never have experimented. Don’t you know that Love is a high explosive?”

Bailiff’s Daughter.–“Is it? Then it ought always to be labelled ‘dangerous,’ oughtn’t it? But who thought of suggesting matches? I’m sure I didn’t!”

True Love.–“No such luck; I wish you would.”

Bailiff’s Daughter.–“According to your theory, if you apply a match to Love it is likely to ‘go off.'”

True Love.–“I wish you would try it on mine and await the result. Come now, you’ll have to marry somebody, sometime.”