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The Devotee
by
“The day passed, I know not how. That night I had to meet my husband. But the night is dark and silent. It is the time when my husband’s mind comes out shining, like stars at twilight. I had heard him speak things in the dark, and I had been surprised to find how deeply he understood.
“Sometimes I am late in the evening in going to rest on account of household work. My husband waits for me, seated on the floor, without going to bed. Our talk at such times had often begun with something about our Guru.
That night, when it was past midnight, I came to my room, and found my husband sleeping on the floor. Without disturbing him I lay down on the ground at his feet, my head towards him. Once he stretched his feet, while sleeping, and struck me on the breast. That was his last bequest.
“Next morning, when my husband woke up from his sleep, I was already sitting by him. Outside the window, over the thick foliage of the jack- fruit tree, appeared the first pale red of the dawn at the fringe of the night. It was so early that the crows had not yet begun to call.
“I bowed, and touched my husband’s feet with my forehead. He sat up, starting as if waking from a dream, and looked at my face in amazement. I said:
“‘ I have made up my mind. I must leave the world. I cannot belong to you any longer. I must leave your home.’
“Perhaps my husband thought that he was still dreaming. He said not a word.
Ah! do hear me l’ I pleaded with infinite pain. ` Do hear me and understand I You must marry another wife. I must take my leave.’
“My husband said: ‘ What is all this wild, mad talk? Who advises you to leave the world?’
“I said: ` My Guru Thakur.’
“My husband looked bewildered. ‘ Guru Thakur!’ he cried. ‘ When did he give you this advice?’
“` In the morning,’ I answered, ‘ yesterday, when I met him on my way back from the river.’
“His voice trembled a little. He turned, and looked in my face, and asked me: `Why did he give you such a behest?’
“` I do not know,’ I answered. ‘ Ask him 1 He will tell you himself, if he can.’
“My husband said: `It is possible to leave the world, even when continuing to live in it. You need not leave my home. I will speak to my Guru about it.’
“` Your Guru,’ I said, ` may accept your petition; but my heart will never give its consent. I must leave your home. From henceforth, the world is no more to me.’
“My husband remained silent, and we sat there on the floor in the dark. When it was light, he said to me: ‘ Let us both came to him.’
“I folded my hands and said: ` I shall never meet him again.’
“He looked into my face. I lowered my eyes. He said no more. I knew that, somehow, he had seen into my mind, and understood what was there. In this world of mine, there were only two who loved me best-my boy and my husband. That love was my God, and therefore it could brook no falsehood. One of these two left me, and I left the other. Now I must have truth, and truth alone.”
She touched the ground at my feet, rose and bowed to me, and departed.