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The Cyclopeedy
by
The end come one balmy day in the spring uv ’87. His life wuz a-ebbin’ powerful fast; the minister wuz there, ‘nd me, ‘nd Dock Wilson, ‘nd Jedge Baker, ‘nd most uv the fam’ly. Lovin’ hands smoothed the wrinkled forehead ‘nd breshed back the long, scant, white hair, but the eyes of the dyin’ man wuz sot upon that piece uv road down which the cyclopeedy man allus come.
All to oncet a bright ‘nd joyful look come into them eyes, ‘nd ol’ Leander riz up in bed ‘nd sez, “It’s come!”
“What is it, Father?” asked his daughter Sarey, sobbin’ like.
“Hush,” says the minister, solemnly; “he sees the shinin’ gates uv the Noo Jerusalum.”
“No, no,” cried the aged man; “it is the cyclopeedy–the letter Z–it’s comin’!”
And, sure enough! the door opened, and in walked Higgins. He tottered rather than walked, f’r he had growed old ‘nd feeble in his wicked perfession.
“Here’s the Z cyclopeedy, Mr. Hobart,” sez Higgins.
Leander clutched it; he hugged it to his pantin’ bosom; then stealin’ one pale hand under the piller he drew out a faded banknote ‘nd gave it to Higgins.
“I thank Thee for this boon,” sez Leander, rollin’ his eyes up devoutly; then he gave a deep sigh.
“Hold on,” cried Higgins, excitedly, “you’ve made a mistake–it isn’t the last–“
But Leander didn’t hear him–his soul hed fled from its mortal tenement ‘nd hed soared rejoicin’ to realms uv everlastin’ bliss.
“He is no more,” sez Dock Wilson, metaphorically.
“Then who are his heirs?” asked that mean critter Higgins.
“We be,” sez the family.
“Do you conjointly and severally acknowledge and assume the obligation of deceased to me?” he asked ’em.
“What obligation?” asked Peasley Hobart, stern like.
“Deceased died owin’ me f’r a cyclopeedy!” sez Higgins.
“That’s a lie!” sez Peasley. “We all seen him pay you for the Z!”
“But there’s another one to come,” sez Higgins.
“Another?” they all asked.
“Yes, the index!” sez he.
So there wuz, and I’ll be eternally gol durned if he ain’t a-suin’ the estate in the probate court now f’r the price uv it!
1889