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The Conscious Amanda
by
“‘It isn’t anything I want you to do ever,’ she said. ‘It is about something I must do, and it is just this: grandpa, there are two gentlemen who are about to propose to me, and I think they will do it very soon.’
“‘How in the world do you know that?’ he exclaimed. ‘Have they sent you printed notices?’
“‘How is it that anybody knows such a thing?’ she answered. ‘We feel it, and we can’t be expected to explain it. You must have felt such things when you were young, for I have been told you were often in love.’
“‘Never in my life,’ said her grandfather, ‘have I felt that a young woman was about to propose to me.’
“‘Oh, nonsense!’ said the girl, laughing. ‘But you could feel that she would like you to propose to her. That’s the way it would be in your case.’
“Miss Amanda listened with the most eager and overpowering attention. Often in love! That young scapegrace John! But she had no doubt of it. When she had last known him he was not yet eighteen, and he had had several love-scrapes. Of course he must have married, for here was his granddaughter; and who in the world could he have taken to wife? Could it have been that Rebecca Hendricks–that bold, black-eyed girl, who, as everybody knew, had tried so hard to get him? With all the strength of her consciousness Miss Amanda hoped it had not been Rebecca. There was another girl, Mildred Winchester, a sweet young thing, and in every way desirable, whom Miss Amanda had picked out for him when he should be old enough to think about such things, which at that time he wasn’t. Rebecca Hendricks ought to have been ashamed of herself. Now she did hope most earnestly that she would hear something which would let her know he had married Mildred Winchester.
“‘Well,’ said the old gentleman, ‘if they do propose, as you seem to have some occult reason for suspecting, have you made up your mind which of them you are going to take?’
“‘That is the trouble,’ said the girl, a very serious look coming over her face. ‘I have not made up my mind what I ought to do. I know I ought to be prepared to give the proper answer to the one who speaks first, whichever one he may be; but I cannot come to a decision which satisfies me, and that is the reason, grandpa, I wanted to talk to you about it. Of course you know who they are–George and Mr. Berkeley.’
“‘My dear Mildred,’ said the old gentleman, turning quickly around so that he could face her, ‘just listen to me.’
“‘Mildred, Mildred!’ thought Miss Amanda, and her consciousness was pervaded by a joyful thankfulness which knew no limits. ‘She must have been named after her grandmother. He surely married Mildred.’ And Miss Amanda gazed on the scapegrace John with more affection than she had ever known before. But in the midst of her joy she could not help wondering who it was that that Rebecca Hendricks had finally succeeded in getting. That she got somebody Miss Amanda had not the slightest doubt.
“‘Mildred,’ said the old gentleman, ‘just listen to me. This is a most important thing you have told me, and I have only this to say about it: if you can’t make up your mind which one of those young men you will take when they propose, make up your mind now, this minute, not to have either of them. If you love either one of them as you ought to love the man who shall be your husband, you will have no difficulty in deciding. Therefore, if you have a difficulty, you do not really love either of them.’
“For a few minutes the girl sat quietly looking down at the flowers in her lap, and then she said: ‘But, grandpa, suppose I do not understand myself properly? Perhaps after a while I might come to a–‘