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The Children’s Joke
by
‘My dear, do try and please your father. He is right about late rising, but I can’t bear to see you starve.’
‘Betsey, you are an angel!’ and turning his back to the house, papa bolted the muffin with grateful rapidity, inquiring with a laugh, ‘Do you think those rogues will keep it up in this vigorous style all day?’
‘I trust so; it isn’t a bit overdone. Hope you like it!’ and Aunt Betsey walked away, looking as if she enjoyed it extremely.
‘Now put on your hat and draw baby up and down the avenue for half an hour. Don’t go on the grass, or you will wet your feet; and don’t play with baby, I want her to go to sleep; and don’t talk to papa, or he will neglect his work,’ said Kitty, as they rose from table.
Now, it was a warm morning and baby was heavy and the avenue was dull, and mamma much preferred to stay in the house and sew the trimming on to a new and pretty dress.
‘Must I really? Kitty you are a hard-hearted mamma to make me do it,’ and Mrs. Fairbairn hoped her play-parent would relent.
But she did not, and only answered with a meaning look.
‘I have to do it every day, and you don’t let me off.’
Mamma said no more, but put on her hat and trundled away with fretful baby, thinking to find her fellow-sufferer and have a laugh over the joke. She was disappointed, however, for Harry called papa away to weed the lettuce-bed, and then shut him up in the study to get his lessons, while he mounted the pony and trotted away to town to buy a new fishing-rod and otherwise enjoy himself.
When mamma came in, hot and tired, she was met by Kitty with a bottle in one hand and a spoon in the other.
‘Here is your iron mixture, dear. Now take it like a good girl.’
‘I won’t!’ and mamma looked quite stubborn.
‘Then aunty will hold your hands and I shall make you.’
‘But I don’t like it; I don’t need it,’ cried mamma.
‘Neither do I, but you give it to me all the same. I’m sure you need strengthening more than I do, you have so many “trials,”‘ and Kitty looked very sly as she quoted one of the words often on her mother’s lips.
‘You’d better mind, Carrie; it can’t hurt you, and you know you promised entire obedience. Set a good example,’ said aunty.
‘But I never thought these little chits would do so well. Ugh, how disagreeable it is!’ And mamma took her dose with a wry face, feeling that Aunt Betsey was siding with the wrong party.
‘Now sit down and hem these towels till dinner-time. I have so much to do I don’t know which way to turn,’ continued Kitty, much elated with her success.
Rest of any sort was welcome, so mamma sewed busily till callers came. They happened to be some little friends of Kitty’s, and she went to them in the parlor, telling mamma to go up to nurse and have her hair brushed and her dress changed, and then come and see the guests. While she was away Kitty told the girls the joke they were having, and begged them to help her carry it out. They agreed, being ready for fun and not at all afraid of Mrs. Fairbairn. So when she came in they all began to kiss and cuddle and praise and pass her round as if she was a doll, to her great discomfort and the great amusement of the little girls.
While this was going on in the drawing-room, Harry was tutoring his father in the study, and putting that poor gentleman through a course of questions that nearly drove him distracted; for Harry got out the hardest books he could find, and selected the most puzzling subjects. A dusty old history was rummaged out also, and classical researches followed, in which papa’s memory played him false more than once, calling forth rebukes from his severe young tutor. But he came to open disgrace over his mathematics, for he had no head for figures, and, not being a business man, had not troubled himself about the matter; so Harry, who was in fine practice, utterly routed him in mental arithmetic by giving him regular puzzlers, and when he got stuck offered no help, but shook his head and called him a stupid fellow.