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The Children’s Joke
by
‘Careless, untidy girl! Put on a clean dress, do up your hair properly, and go and practise half an hour before breakfast.’
At first mamma looked as if inclined to refuse, but Kitty was firm; and, with a sigh, mamma rustled into a stiff, scratchy, French print, took her hair out of the comfortable net, and braided it carefully up; then, instead of reading in her arm-chair, she was led to the parlor and set to learning a hard piece of music.
‘Can’t I have my early cup of tea and my roll?’ she asked.
‘Eating between meals is a very bad habit, and I can’t allow it,’ said Kitty, in the tone her mother often used to her. ‘I shall have a mug of new milk and a roll, because grown people need more nourishment than children;’ and sitting down, she ate her early lunch with a relish, while poor mamma played away, feeling quite out of tune herself.
Harry found papa enjoying the last delightful doze that makes bed so fascinating of a morning. As if half afraid to try the experiment, the boy slowly approached and gave the sleeper a sudden, hard shake, saying briskly,–
‘Come, come, come, lazy-bones! Get up, get up!’
Papa started as if an earthquake had roused him, and stared at Harry, astonished for a minute, then he remembered, and upset Harry’s gravity by whining out,–
‘Come, you let me alone. It isn’t time yet, and I am so tired.’
Harry took the joke, and assuming the stern air of his father on such occasions, said impressively,–
‘You have been called, and now if you are not down in fifteen minutes you won’t have any breakfast. Not a morsel, sir, not a morsel;’ and, coolly pocketing his father’s watch, he retired, to giggle all the way downstairs.
When the breakfast bell rang, mamma hurried into the dining-room, longing for her tea. But Kitty sat behind the urn, and said gravely,–
‘Go back, and enter the room properly. Will you never learn to behave like a lady?’
Mamma looked impatient at the delay, and having re-entered in her most elegant manner, sat down, and passed her plate for fresh trout and muffins.
‘No fish or hot bread for you, my dear. Eat your good oatmeal porridge and milk; that is the proper food for children.’
‘Can’t I have some tea?’ cried mamma, in despair, for without it she felt quite lost.
‘Certainly not. I never was allowed tea when a little girl, and couldn’t think of giving it to you,’ said Kitty, filling a large cup for herself, and sipping the forbidden draught with a relish.
Poor mamma quite groaned at this hard fate, but meekly obeyed, and ate the detested porridge, understanding Kitty’s dislike to it at last.
Harry, sitting in his father’s chair, read the paper, and ate everything he could lay his hands on, with a funny assumption of his father’s morning manner. Aunt Betsey looked on much amused, and now and then nodded to the children as if she thought things were going nicely.
Breakfast was half over when papa came in, and was about to take Harry’s place when his son said, trying vainly to look grave as he showed the watch,–
‘What did I tell you, sir? You are late again, sir. No breakfast, sir. I’m sorry, but this habit must be broken up. Not a word; it’s your own fault, and you must bear the penalty.’
‘Come, now, that’s hard on a fellow! I’m awful hungry. Can’t I have just a bite of something?’ asked papa, quite taken aback at this stern decree.
‘I said not a morsel, and I shall keep my word. Go to your morning duties and let this be a lesson to you.’
Papa cast a look at Aunt Betsey, that was both comic and pathetic, and departed without a word; but he felt a sudden sympathy with his son, who had often been sent fasting from the table for some small offence.
Now it was that he appreciated aunty’s kind heart, and felt quite fond of her, for in a few minutes she came to him, as he raked the gravel walk (Harry’s duty every day), and slipping a nice, warm, well-buttered muffin into his hand, said, in her motherly way,–