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PAGE 3

The Capture Of The Burgomeister Van Der Werf
by [?]

Mr. Job stood up and cast a hand behind him, to explain. . . .

“I put it there to keep off the wopses,” said Captain Jacka.

“But what did he say?” asked Mary Polly, when her husband brought home the tale.

“First he said, ‘I’ll make you pay for this.’ Well, that was fair enough, for I ought to have warned him; but when I asked the price, and where the stuff could be matched–for ’twas his best suit, you understand–all of a sudden he stamps his foot and lets fly with the most horrible oaths. It fairly creamed my flesh to hear him. He’s a man of wrath, my love, and the end of him will be worse than the beginning.”

“I daresay; but he’ll give you the sack before that happens.”

The two poor old souls looked at one another; for Job had control of all the privateering companies in Polperro, and influence enough to starve a man out of the place.

“Lev us take counsel of the Lord,” said the old boy, as she knew he would. So down on their knees they went, and prayed together. Jacka even put up a petition for Mr. Job, but Mary Polly couldn’t say “Amen” to that.

The next morning Captain Jacka went down to the Pride at the usual hour, but only to find his crew scrubbing decks and Mr. Job ready for him. “There’s your marching orders,” says the enemy, handing him a paper; “and if you want a character at any time, just come to me, and I’ll give you a daisy.”

Well, the old chap said no word, but turned about then and there, and back along the quay like a man in a dream. All the way he kept fumbling the document without daring to open it, and when he reached his own door he just sat down on the little low wall outside, laid the cursed thing on his knee, pulled a bandanna out of his breeches pocket, and polished the top of his poor head till it fairly blazed in the eye of the sun.

He was sitting there, dazed and quiet, when the door opened and out came Mary Polly with a rag-mat in her hand, meaning to bang it against the wall, as her custom was.

“Hullo!” says she, stopping short on the threshold. “Back again, like a bad penny?”

“Bad enough, this time,” says her husband, without turning round; and drops his head with a groan.

I must say the woman’s behaviour was peculiar. For first of all she stepped forward and gave his head a stroking, just as you might a child’s, and then she looks up and down the street, and says, “I’m ashamed of ‘ee, carryin’ on like this for all the public to see. Stick your hands in your pockets,” says she.

“What’s the use of that?” But he did it.

“Now whistle.”

“Eh?”

“Whistle a tune.”

“But I can’t.”

“You can if you try; I’ve heard you whistlin’ ‘Rule Britannia’ scores of times, or bits of it. Now I’m goin’ to beat this mat and make believe to be talkin’ to ‘ee. At the very first sound old Mrs. Scantlebury’ll poke her head out, she always does. So you go on whistlin’, and don’t mind anything I say. There’ll be no peace in life for us after she gets wind you’ve been sacked; and just now I want a little time to myself to relieve my feelin’s.”

So Jacka started to whistle, feeling mighty shy, and Mary Polly picked up the mat.

“I wish,” says she to the mat, “you was Mr. (whang) Zephaniah (whang) Job (whang). I do dearly wish for my life you was Mr. (whang) Zephaniah (whang) Job (whang). I’d take your ugly old head with its stivery grey whiskers and I’d (bang, whang)–I’d (bang, whang)–I’d treat you like this here mat, and lay you down for folks to wipe their shoes upon, Mr. (whang) Zephaniah (whang) Job (whang).”