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“‘She ain’t never rough nor overbearing, but it interferes with trade for me to be sitting here in my office at the front of the stable talking business with somebody, and all of a sudden the front half of the largest East Indian elephant in the world shoves three or four thousand pounds of herself in at that side door and begins waving her trunk around in the air, meanwhile uttering fretful, complaining sounds. I’ve lost two or three customers that way,’ he says. ‘They get right up and go away sudden,’ he says, ‘and they don’t never come back no more, not even for their hats and umbrellas. They send for ’em.

“‘That ain’t the worst of it,’ he says. Yesterday,’ he says, ‘I rented out my whole string of coaches and teams for a burial turnout over here on McDougal Street. Being as it’s a big occasion, I’m driving the first carriage containing the sorrowing family of deceased. Naturally, with a job like that on my hands, I don’t think about Emily at all; my mind’s all occupied up with making the affair pass off in a tasty and pleasant fashion for all concerned. Well, the cortege is just leaving the late residence of the remainders, when around the corner comes bulging Emily, followed at a suitable distance by eight or nine thousand of the populace. She’s missed me, and she wants her peanuts, and she’s been trailing me; and now, by heck, she’s found me.

“‘Emily gives a loud, glad snort of recognition, wheels herself around and then falls in alongside the front hack and gets ready to accompany us, all the time poking her snout over at me and uttering plaintive remarks in East Indian to me. Gents,’ he says, ‘you can see for yourselves, a thing like that, occurring right at the beginning of a funeral procession, is calculated to distract popular attention away from the main attraction. Under the circumstances I wouldn’t blame no corpse on earth for feeling jealous–let alone a popular and prominent corpse like this here one was, a party that had been a district leader at Tammany Hall in his day, and after that the owner of the most fashionable retail liquor store in the entire neighbourhood, and who’s now riding along with solid silver handles up and down both sides, and style just wrote all over him. Here, with an utter disregard for expense, he’s putting on all this dog for his last public appearance, and a strange elephant comes along and grabs the show right away from him.

“‘The bereaved family don’t care for it, neither. I gathers as much from the remarks they’re making out of the windows of the coach. But Emily just won’t take a hint. She sticks along until I stops the procession and goes in a guinea fruitstore on the next block and buys her a bag of peanuts. That’s all she wants. She takes it, and she leaves us and goes on back to the stable.

“‘But, as the feller says, it practically ruined the entire day for them berefts. I lost their patronage right there–and them a nice sickly family, too. A lot of the friends and relatives also resented it; they were telling me so all the way back from the cemet’ry. There ain’t no real harm in Emily, and I’ve got powerfully attached to her, but taking one thing with another, I ain’t regretting none that you’ve come down all organised financially to take her out of pawn. You have my best wishes, and so has she.’

“So we settles up the account to date, which the same makes quite a nick in the bank-roll, and then we goes back to the rear of the stable where Emily is quartered, and she falls on Windy’s neck, mighty nigh dislocating it, and he introduces me to Emily, and we shakes hands together,–I means trunks,–and then Windy unshackles her, and she follows us along just as gentle as a kitten to them freight-yards over on Tenth Avenue where her future travelling home is waiting for her. It’s a box-car, with one end rigged up with bunks as a boudoir for me and Windy, and the rest of it fitted out as a private stateroom for Emily.