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[FITZSIMMONS takes off coat and gives exhibition.]

[MAUD looks on in an ecstasy of admiration.]

MAUD. [As he finishes.] Beautiful! Beautiful!

[FITZSIMMONS puts on coat and goes over and sits down near table.] Nothing like the bag to limber one up. I feel like a fighting cock. Harry, let’s go out on a toot, you and I.

MAUD. Wh-a-a-t?

FITZSIMMONS. A toot. You know–one of those rip-snorting nights you used to make.

MAUD. [Emphatically, as she picks up newspapers from leather chair, sits down, and places them on her lap.] I’ll do nothing of the sort. I’ve–I’ve reformed.

FITZSIMMONS. You used to joy-ride like the very devil.

MAUD. I know it.

FITZSIMMONS. And you always had a pretty girl or two along.

MAUD. [Boastfully, in mannish, fashion.] Oh, I still have my fling. Do you know any–well,–er,–nice girls?

FITZSIMMONS. Sure.

MAUD. Put me wise.

FITZSIMMONS. Sure. You know Jack Sylvester?

MAUD. [Forgetting herself.] He’s my brother –

FITZSIMMONS. [Exploding.] What!

MAUD. –In-law’s first cousin.

FITZSIMMONS. Oh!

MAUD. So you see I don’t know him very well. I only met him once–at the club. We had a drink together.

FITZSIMMONS. Then you don’t know his sister?

MAUD. [Starting.] His sister? I–I didn’t know he had a sister.

FITZSIMMONS. [Enthusiastically.] She’s a peach. A queen. A little bit of all right. A–a loo-loo.

MAUD. [Flattered.] She is, is she?

FITZSIMMONS. She’s a scream. You ought to get acquainted with her.

MAUD. [Slyly.] You know her, then?

FITZSIMMONS. You bet.

MAUD. [Aside.] Oh, ho! [To FITZSIMMONS.] Know her very well?

FITZSIMMONS. I’ve taken her out more times than I can remember. You’ll like her, I’m sure.

MAUD. Thanks. Tell me some more about her.

FITZSIMMONS. She dresses a bit loud. But you won’t mind that. And whatever you do, don’t take her to eat.

MAUD. [Hiding her chagrin.] Why not?

FITZSIMMONS. I never saw such an appetite –

MAUD. Oh!

FITZSIMMONS. It’s fair sickening. She must have a tape-worm. And she thinks she can sing.

MAUD. Yes?

FITZSIMMONS. Rotten. You can do better yourself, and that’s not saying much. She’s a nice girl, really she is, but she is the black sheep of the family. Funny, isn’t it?

MAUD. [Weak voice.] Yes, funny.

FITZSIMMONS. Her brother Jack is all right. But he can’t do anything with her. She’s a–a –

MAUD. [Grimly.] Yes. Go on.

FITZSIMMONS. A holy terror. She ought to be in a reform school.

MAUD. [Springing to her feet and slamming newspapers in his face.] Oh! Oh! Oh! You liar! She isn’t anything of the sort!

FITZSIMMONS. [Recovering from the onslaught and making believe he is angry, advancing threateningly on her.] Now I’m going to put a head on you. You young hoodlum.

MAUD. [All alarm and contrition, backing away from him.] Don’t! Please don’t! I’m sorry! I apologise. I–I beg your pardon, Bob. Only I don’t like to hear girls talked about that way, even- -even if it is true. And you ought to know.

FITZSIMMONS. [Subsiding and resuming seat.] You’ve changed a lot, I must say.

MAUD. [Sitting down in leather chair.] I told you I’d reformed. Let us talk about something else. Why is it girls like prize- fighters? I should think–ahem–I mean it seems to me that girls would think prize-fighters horrid.

FITZSIMMONS. They are men.

MAUD. But there is so much crookedness in the game. One hears about it all the time.

FITZSIMMONS. There are crooked men in every business and profession. The best fighters are not crooked.

MAUD. I–er–I thought they all faked fights when there was enough in it.