PAGE 10
The Birds’ Christmas Carol
by
“That’s a lady;” cried her mother. “Now, you young ones that ain’t doin’ nothin’, play all yer want ter before noontime, for after ye git through eatin’ at twelve o’clock me ‘n Sarah Maud’s goin’ ter give yer such a washin’ an’ combin’ an’ dressin’ as yer never had before an’ never will agin, an’ then I’m goin’ to set yer down an’ give yer two solid hours trainin’ in manners; an’ ‘twon’t be no foolin’ neither.”
“All we’ve got ter do ‘s go eat!” grumbled Peter.
“Well, that’s enough,” responded his mother; “there’s more ‘n one way of eatin’, let me tell yer, an’ you’ve got a heap ter learn about it, Peter Ruggles. Lord sakes, I wish you childern could see the way I was fetched up to eat–never took a meal o’ vittles in the kitchen before I married Ruggles; but yer can’t keep up that style with nine young ones ‘n yer Pa always off ter sea.”
The big Ruggleses worked so well, and the little Ruggleses kept from “under foot” so successfully, that by one o’clock nine complete toilets were laid out in solemn grandeur on the beds. I say, “complete;” but I do not know whether they would be called so in the best society. The law of compensation had been well applied; he that had necktie had no cuffs; she that had sash had no handkerchief, and vice versa; but they all had boots and a certain amount of clothing, such as it was, the outside layer being in every case quite above criticism.
“Now, Sarah Maud,” said Mrs. Ruggles, her face shining with excitement, “everything is red up an’ we can begin. I’ve got a boiler ‘n a kettle ‘n a pot o’ hot water. Peter, you go into the back bedroom, an’ I’ll take Susan, Kitty, Peory an’ Cornelius; an’ Sarah Maud, you take Clem, ‘n Eily, ‘n Larry, one to a time, an’ git as fur as you can with ’em, an’ then I’ll finish ’em off while you do yerself.”
Sarah Maud couldn’t have scrubbed with any more decision and force if she had been doing floors, and the little Ruggleses bore it bravely, not from natural heroism, but for the joy that was set before them. Not being satisfied, however, with the “tone” of their complexions, she wound up operations by applying a little Bristol brick from the knife-board, which served as the proverbial “last straw,” from under which the little Ruggleses issued rather red and raw and out of temper. When the clock struck three they were all clothed, and most of them in their right minds, ready for those last touches that always take the most time. Kitty’s red hair was curled in thirty-four ringlets, Sarah Maud’s was braided in one pig-tail, and Susan’s and Eily’s in two braids apiece, while Peoria’s resisted all advances in the shape of hair oils and stuck out straight on all sides, like that of the Circassian girl of the circus–so Clem said; and he was sent into the bed-room for it too, from whence he was dragged out forgivingly by Peoria herself, five minutes later. Then–exciting moment–came linen collars for some and neckties and bows for others, and Eureka! the Ruggleses were dressed, and Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these! A row of seats was formed directly through the middle of the kitchen. There were not quite chairs enough for ten, since the family had rarely all wanted to sit down at once, somebody always being out, or in bed, but the wood box and the coal-hod finished out the line nicely. The children took their places according to age, Sarah Maud at the head and Larry on the coal-hod, and Mrs. Ruggles seated herself in front, surveying them proudly as she wiped the sweat of honest toil from her brow.
“Well,” she exclaimed, “if I do say so as shouldn’t, I never see a cleaner, more stylish mess o’ childern in my life! I do wish Ruggles could look at ye for a minute! Now, I’ve of ‘en told ye what kind of a family the McGrills was. I’ve got some reason to be proud; your uncle is on the po-lice force o’ New York city; you can take up the newspaper most any day an’ see his name printed right out–James McGrill, and I can’t have my childern fetched up common, like some folks. When they go out they’ve got to have close, and learn ter act decent! Now, I want ter see how yer goin’ to behave when yer git there to-night. Let’s start in at the beginnin’ ‘n act out the whole business. Pile into the bed-room, there, every last one of ye, an’ show me how yer goin’ ter go in’t the parlor. This’ll be the parlor ‘n I’ll be Mis’ Bird.” The youngsters hustled into the next room in high glee, and Mrs. Ruggles drew herself up in her chair with an infinitely haughty and purse-proud expression that much better suited a descendant of the McGrills than modest Mrs. Bird. The bed-room was small, and there presently ensued such a clatter that you would have thought a herd of wild cattle had broken loose; the door opened, and they straggled in, all the little ones giggling, with Sarah Maud at the head, looking as if she had been caught in the act of stealing sheep; while Larry, being last in line, seemed to think the door a sort of gate of heaven which would be shut in his face if he didn’t get there in time; accordingly he struggled ahead of his elders and disgraced himself by tumbling in head foremost.