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The Biography Of An "Inefficient"
by
But we thought that this was just the lad’s nonsense, for he was aye at it. However, we had news of that before she had been a month in the place. Mr. Skinner used to preach on the Sabbaths leaning over the pulpit with his nose kittlin’ the paper, and near the whole of the congregation watching the green leaves of the trees waving at the windows. But, certes, after he brought the mistress home he just preached once in that fashion. The very next Sabbath morning he stood straight up in the pulpit and pulled at his cuffs as if he was peeling for a “fecht”–and so he was. He spoke that day as he had never spoken since he came to the kirk. And all the while, as my wife said, “The mistress sat as quate as a wee broon moose in the minister’s seat by the side wall. She never took her een aff him, an’ ye never saw sic a change on ony man.”
“She’ll do!” said I to my wife as we came out. We were biding for a day or so with my cousin, that is the grocer in Cairn Edward, as I telled you once before. The Sabbath morning following there was no precentor in the desk, and the folk were all sitting wondering what was coming next, for everybody kenned that “Cracky” Carlisle, the post, had given up his precentorship because the list of tunes had come down from the manse to him on the Wednesday, instead of his being allowed to choose what he liked out of the dozen or so that he could sing. “Cracky” Carlisle got his name by upholding the theory that a crack in the high notes sets off a voice wonderfully. He had a fine one himself.
“I’ll no’ sing what ony woman bids me,” said the post, putting the saddle on the right horse at once.
“But hoo do ye ken it was her?” he was asked that night in Dally’s smiddy, when the Laigh End folk gathered in to have their crack.
“Ken?” said Cracky; “brawly do I ken that he wad never hae had the presumption himsel’. Na, he kenned better!”
“It was a verra speerited thing to do, at ony rate, to gie up your precentorship,” said Fergusson, whose wife kept the wash-house on the Isle, and who lived on his wife’s makings.
“Verra,” said the post drily, “seein’ that I haena a wife to keep me!”
There was a vacancy on the seat next the door, which the shoemaker filled. But, with all this talk, there was a considerable expectation that the minister would go himself to Cracky at the last moment and beseech him to sing for them. The minister, however, did not arrive, and so Cracky did not go to church at all that day.
Within the Laigh Kirk there was a silence as the Reverend Ebenezer Skinner, without a tremor in his voice, gave out that they would sing to the praise of God the second Paraphrase to the tune “St. Paul’s.” The congregation stood up–a new invention of the last minister’s, over which also Cracky had nearly resigned, because it took away from his dignity as precentor and having therefore the sole right to stand during the service of song. The desk was still empty. The minister gave one quick look to the manse seat, and there arose from the dusky corner by the wall such a volume of sweet and solemn sound that the first two lines were sung out before a soul had thought of joining. But as the voice from the manse seat took a new start into the mighty swing of “St. Paul’s,” one by one the voices which had been singing that best-loved of Scottish tunes at home in “taking the Buik,” joined in, till by the end of the verse the very walls were tingling with the joyful noise. There was something ran through the Laigh Kirk that day to which it had long been strange. “It’s the gate o’ heeven,” said old Peter Thomson, the millwright, who had voted for Ebenezer Skinner for minister, and had regretted it ever since. He was glad of his vote now that the minister had got married.