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Shamrock and the Palm
by
“‘Ah, senor,’ he snickers, ‘to death you would have laughed at that drollest Irish. I say to him: “Strong, big mans is need very much in Guatemala.” “I will blows strike for your down-pressed country,” he say. “That shall you do,” I tell him. Ah! it was an Irish so comic. He sees one box break upon the wharf that contain for the guard a few gun. He think there is gun in all the box. But that is all pickaxe. Yes. Ah! senor, could you the face of that Irish have seen when they set him to the work!’
“‘Twas thus the ex-boss of the employment bureau contributed to the tedium of the trip with merry jests and anecdote. But now and then he would weep upon the bananas and make oration about the lost cause of liberty and the mule.
“‘Twas a pleasant sound when the steamer bumped against the pier in New Orleans. Pretty soon we heard the pat-a-pat of hundreds of bare feet, and the Dago gang that unloads the fruit jumped on the deck and down into the hold. Me and the general worked a while at passing up the bunches, and they thought we were part of the gang. After about an hour we managed to slip off the steamer onto the wharf.
“‘Twas a great honor on the hands of an obscure Clancy, havin’ the entertainment of the representative of a great foreign filibustering power. I first bought for the general and myself many long drinks and things to eat that were not bananas. The general man trotted along at my side, leaving all the arrangements to me. I led him up to Lafayette Square and set him on a bench in the little park. Cigarettes I had bought for him, and he humped himself down on the seat like a little, fat, contented hobo. I look him over as he sets there, and what I see pleases me. Brown by nature and instinct, he is now brindled with dirt and dust. Praise to the mule, his clothes is mostly strings and flaps. Yes, the looks of the general man is agreeable to Clancy.
“I asks him, delicate, if, by any chance, he brought away anybody’s money with him from Guatemala. He sighs and humps his shoulders against the bench. Not a cent. All right. Maybe, he tells me, some of his friends in the tropic outfit will send him funds later. The general was as clear a case of no visible means as I ever saw.
“I told him not to move from the bench, and then I went up to the corner of Poydras and Carondelet. Along there is O’Hara’s beat. In five minutes along comes O’Hara, a big, fine man, red-faced, with shinin’ buttons, swinging his club. ‘Twould be a fine thing for Guatemala to move into O’Hara’s precinct. ‘Twould be a fine bit of recreation for Danny to suppress revolutions and uprisins once or twice a week with his club.
“‘Is 5046 workin’ yet, Danny?’ says I, walking up to him.
“‘Overtime,’ says O’Hara, looking over me suspicious. ‘Want some of it?’
“Fifty-forty-six is the celebrated city ordinance authorizing arrest, conviction and imprisonment of persons that succeed in concealing their crimes from the police.
“‘Don’t ye know Jimmy Clancy?’ says I. ‘Ye pink-gilled monster.’ So, when O’Hara recognized me beneath the scandalous exterior bestowed upon me by the tropics, I backed him into a doorway and told him what I wanted, and why I wanted it. ‘All right, Jimmy,’ says O’Hara. ‘Go back and hold the bench. I’ll be along in ten minutes.’
“In that time O’Hara strolled through Lafayette Square and spied two Weary Willies disgracin’ one of the benches. In ten minutes more J. Clancy and General De Vega, late candidate for the presidency of Guatemala, was in the station house. The general is badly frightened, and calls upon me to proclaim his distinguishments and rank.