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Representing T. A. Buck
by
Emma McChesney leaned her head against the door. The man at the piano did not turn. So she tip-toed in, found a chair in a corner, and noiselessly slipped into it. She sat very still, listening, and the past-that-might-have-been, and the future-that-was-to-be, stretched behind and before her, as is strangely often the case when we are listening to music. She stared ahead with eyes that were very wide open and bright. Something in the attitude of the man sitting hunched there over the piano keys, and something in the beauty and pathos of the music brought a hot haze of tears to her eyes. She leaned her head against the back of the chair, and shut her eyes and wept quietly and heart-brokenly. The tears slid down her cheeks, and dropped on her smart tailored waist and her Irish lace jabot, and she didn’t care a bit.
The last lovely note died away. The fat man’s hands dropped limply to his sides. Emma McChesney stared at them, fascinated. They were quite marvelous hands; not at all the sort of hands one would expect to see attached to the wrists of a fat man. They were slim, nervous, sensitive hands, pink-tipped, tapering, blue-veined, delicate. As Emma McChesney stared at them the man turned slowly on the revolving stool. His plump, pink face was dolorous, sagging, wan-eyed.
He watched Emma McChesney as she sat up and dried her eyes. A satisfied light dawned in his face.
“Thanks,” he said, and mopped his forehead and chin and neck with the brown-edged handkerchief.
“You–you can’t be Paderewski. He’s thin. But if he plays any better than that, then I don’t want to hear him. You’ve upset me for the rest of the week. You’ve started me thinking about things–about things that–that-“
The fat man clasped his thin, nervous hands in front of him and leaned forward.
“About things that you’re trying to forget. It starts me that way, too. That’s why sometimes I don’t touch the keys for weeks. Say, what do you think of a man who can play like that, and who is out on the road for a living just because he knows it’s a sure thing? Music! That’s my gift. And I’ve buried it. Why? Because the public won’t take a fat man seriously. When he sits down at the piano they begin to howl for Italian rag. Why, I’d rather play the piano in a five-cent moving picture house than do what I’m doing now. But the old man wanted his son to be a business man, not a crazy, piano-playing galoot. That’s the way he put it. And I wa
s darn fool enough to think he was right. Why can’t people stand up and do the things they’re out to do! Not one person in a thousand does. Why, take you–I don’t know you from Eve, but just from the way you shed the briny I know you’re busy regretting.”
“Regretting?” repeated Emma McChesney, in a wail. “Do you know what I am? I’m a lady drummer. And do you know what I want to do this minute? I want to clean house. I want to wind a towel around my head, and pin up my skirt, and slosh around with a pail of hot, soapy water. I want to pound a couple of mattresses in the back yard, and eat a cold dinner off the kitchen table. That’s what I want to do.”
“Well, go on and do it,” said the fat man.
“Do it? I haven’t any house to clean. I got my divorce ten years ago, and I’ve been on the road ever since. I don’t know why I stick. I’m pulling down a good, fat salary and commissions, but it’s no life for a woman, and I know it, but I’m not big enough to quit. It’s different with a man on the road. He can spend his evenings taking in two or three nickel shows, or he can stand on the drug-store corner and watch the pretty girls go by, or he can have a game of billiards, or maybe cards. Or he can have a nice, quiet time just going up to his room, and smoking a cigar and writing to his wife or his girl. D’you know what I do?”