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“Get her out again?” demanded Mathewson. “How was he to do that?”

“Humph!” grunted Potts. “If you have n’t found it much easier to lose a friend than to win one, you ‘re luckier than most. If you asked me how he was to get her in love with him, I should have to scratch my head, but the other thing is as easy as unraveling a stocking.”

“Well, but, Potts,” inquired Sturgis, with interest, “how could Goethe have gone to work, for instance, to disgust Frederica with him?”

“Depends on the kind of girl. If she is one of your high-steppers as to dignity and sense of honor, let him play mean and seem to do a few dirty tricks. If she’s a stickler for manners and good taste, let him betray a few traits of boorishness or Philistinism; or if she has a keen sense of the ridiculous, let him make an ass of himself. I should say the last would be the surest cure and leave least of a sore place in her feelings, but it would be hardest on his vanity. Everybody knows that a man would ‘rather seem a scamp than a fool.'”

“I don’t believe there’s a man in the world who would play the voluntary fool to save any woman’s heart from breaking, though he might manage the scamp,” remarked Mathewson. “And anyhow, Potts, I believe there ‘s no girl who would n’t choose to be jilted outright, rather than be juggled out of her affections that way.”

“No doubt she would say so, if you asked her,” replied the imperturbable Potts. “A woman always prefers a nice sentimental sorrow to a fancy-free state. But it isn’t best for her, and looking out for her good, you must deprive her of it. Women are like children, you know, our natural wards.”

This last sentiment impressed these beardless youths as a clincher, and there was a pause. But Mathewson, who was rather strong on the moralities, rallied with the objection that Potts’s plan would be deceit.

“Well, now, that’s what I call cheeky,” replied its author, with a drawl of astonishment. “I suppose it wasn’t deceit when you were prancing around in your best clothes both literally and figuratively, trying to bring your good points into such absurd prominence as to delude her into the idea that you had no bad ones. Oh, no, it’s only deceit when you appear worse than you are, not when you try to appear better. Strikes me that when you ‘ye got a girl into a fix, it won’t do at that time of day to plead your conscience as a reason for not getting her out of it. Seeing that a man is generally ready to sacrifice his character in reality to his own interests, he ought to be willing to sacrifice it in appearance to another’s.”

Mathewson was squelched, but Sturgis came to his relief with the suggestion:–

“Would n’t a little genuine heartache, which I take it is healthy enough, if it is n’t pleasant, be better for her than the cynical feeling, the disgust with human nature, which she would experience from finding her ideal of excellence a scamp or a fool?”

The others seemed somewhat impressed, but Potts merely ejaculated,–

“Bosh!” Allowing a brief pause for this ejaculation to do its work in demoralizing the opposition he proceeded. “Sturgis, you remember ‘Midsummer Night’s Dream,’ and how Titania, on the application of Puck’s clarifying lotion to her eyes, perceives that in Bottom she has loved an ass. Don’t you suppose Titania suffered a good deal from the loss of her ideal?”

There was a general snicker at Sturgis’s expense.

“Well, now,” continued Potts gravely, “a woman who should fall in love with one of us fellows and deem him a hero would be substantially in Titania’s plight when she adored Bottom, and about as much an object of pity when her hero disclosed an asininity which would be at least as near to being his real character as the heroism she ascribed to him.”