PAGE 3
Posey
by
One autumn afternoon I sat on the veranda at Wawona and listened to the tales of luck and pluck in forest and mountain that Posey, squatted on the steps, poured forth for my entertainment and that of such others as chose to stop and listen. He talked in quick, jerky sentences, constantly bobbing his head about and making little, angular gestures with his hands and arms.
“Posey,” I said, “did you ever meet a bear, face to face, when you did n’t have a gun?”
“Lots of times!”
“What did you do?”
“Pooh! I don’t care, if ‘t ain’t a grizzly. If I meet a grizzly on the trail when I hain’t no gun with me I don’t tramp on his toes, you bet. I jest hide behind a bush and purtend I don’t see him till he gets out the way. But any other kind of a bear ‘s got to give me right o’ way, gun or no gun. Me get out of the way fer an ornery brown bear! Huh! Not much! All you’ve got to do is jest to stand up and lay down the law to ’em, and they ‘ll sneak out and into the bushes and leave you the trail, ‘fore you can get furder ‘n ‘Be it enacted.’ I ‘ll bet I could talk any brown bear in the Sierras out o’ the trail in five minutes.
“Once I was comin’ down Pinoche Mountain, windin’ along a narrow trail through some high bushes, when I seed a bear roundin’ a turn not more ‘n ten yards ahead of me. I did n’t have no gun, and it was n’t much of a trail, but I reckoned it was a heap sight better ‘n scramblin’ through them bushes, and I jest thought I ‘d let the bear do the scramblin’. Sunday, he rushed out between my legs and begun to bow-wow, bold as if he ‘d been John Sullivan. ‘Hist, Sunday!’ says I, ‘I’ve got the floor! Gimme the first chance; and if there ‘s any talking to do after that, you can do it.’ So he come and squatted down beside me; and the bear, he stood there lookin’ at us.
“‘Mr. Bear,’ says I, ‘I ‘d hate to have to spile your hide, but I ‘ll do it if you don’t get out o’ this trail. I ‘ve killed eighty bear in these mountains, and I won’t take no sass from you. The climate in this trail ain’t what you need, an’ I advise you to git out of it. Off into the bushes with you! Whoop! Git!’ An’ off he went, just as if I owned that trail an’ he was trespassin’.
“That bear was as reasonable as any I ever see, but I had more trouble with a big feller up toward Crescent Lake. I got sleepy that afternoon, for I ‘d been settin’ up watchin’ fer bear the night before. So I put my gun an’ a snack I had on a stump and went to sleep. When I waked up there was a big brown bear nosin’ my lunch and tryin’ to open the bundle with his paw. I picked up some pine cones–Pinus pondyrosy it was I was sleepin’ under” (he rolled this out with the slyest glance at a professor from an Eastern college who had joined his little audience)–“an’ begun peltin’ ’em at him just so’s to tip his ears and his tail. Sunday, he ‘d travelled off somewhere and missed this fun. Then I started in to abusin’ that bear. My! I called him everything I could lay my tongue to. He ‘d stop an’ listen a minute, cock up one ear and wink, and then he ‘d go to work at that lunch passel ag’in. I jest kept on swearin’ harder and harder at him till I could taste brimstone. And at last it got too much for ‘im. He took his paws down off ‘n that stump an’ marched off as dignified as a woman who ‘s heard you say somethin’ you did n’t mean her to.