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“‘Fellow sufferer,’ he says, ‘listen here to me. I’ve got a dear old white-haired grandmother, which she was seventy-four her last birthday and has always been a life-long member of the First Baptist Church. I love my dear old grandmother, but if she was standing right here now and asked me for a nibble off my mid-day refreshment I’d tell her to go find a truck patch of her own. Yes sir, I’d turn her down cold; because if I don’t eat enough to keep me alive to get out of here when the times comes I wont be alive to get out of here when the time comes. Anywhere else I could love you like a brother,’ he says, ‘and divide my last bite with you, but not here,’ he says, ‘not here! Do you get me?’ he says.

“‘Sir,’ I says, ‘I get you. Take care of yourself and don’t get foundered on the green truck,’ I says. ‘A bran mash now and then and a wisp of cured timothy hay about once in so long ought to keep off the grass colic,’ I says. ‘Come on, little playmate,’ I says to Sweet Caps, ‘let us meander further into this here vale of plenty of everything except something to eat. Which, by rights,’ I says, ‘its real name oughter be Hungry Hollow.’

“So we meanders some more miles and pretty soon I’m that empty that I couldn’t be no emptier than I am without a surgical operation. My voice gets weak, and objects dance before my eyes.

“After while they quits dancing, and I realizes that I’m bowing low before probably the boniest lady that ever lived. A gold watch has got more extra flesh on it than this lady has on her. She is looking out of the front window of a small cottage and her expression verges on the disapproving. As nearly as I can figure out she disapproves of everything in general, and a large number of things in particular. And I judges that if there is any two things in the world which she disapproves of more than any other two things, those two things is me and the Sweet Caps Kid.

“I removes my lid and starts to speak, but she merely waves her arm in a majestic manner, meaning, if I know anything about the sign language, ‘Exit in case of dog.’ So we exits without even passing the time of the day with her and continues upon our way through the bright sunshine. The thermometer now registers at least ninety-eight in the shade, but then of course we don’t have to stay in the shade, and that’s some consolation.

“The next female land-owner we encounters lives away down in the woods. She’s plump and motherly-looking, with gold bows on her spec’s. She is out in her front garden picking pansies and potato bugs and other flora and fauna common to the soil. She looks up as the gate-latch clicks, and beholds me on the point of entering.

“‘Madam,’ I says, ‘pardon this here intrusion but in us you behold two weary travelers carrying no script and no purse. Might I ask you what the chances are of us getting a square meal before we perish?’

“‘You might,’ she says.

“‘Might what?’ I says.

“‘Might ask me,’ she says,’but I warn you in advance, that I ain’t very good at conundrums. I’m a lone widder woman,’ she says, ‘and I’ve got something to do,’ she says, ‘besides standing out here in the hot sun answering riddles for perfect strangers,’ she says. ‘So go ahead,’ she says.

“‘Madam,’ I says pretty severe, ‘don’t trifle with me. I’m a desperate man, and my friend here is even desperater than what I am. Remember you are alone, and at our mercy and–‘

“‘Oh,’ she says, with a sweet smile, ‘I ain’t exactly alone. There’s Tige,’ she says.

“I don’t see no Tige,’ I says, glancing around hurriedly.