PAGE 13
Pip
by
In consequence, two days later, Joe, arrayed in his Sunday clothes, set out with me to visit Miss Havisham, and as he thought his court dress necessary to the occasion, it was not for me to tell him that he looked far better in his working dress. We arrived at Miss Havisham’s, and as usual Estella opened the door, and led the way to Miss Havisham’s room. She immediately addressed Joe, asking him questions about himself and about having me for apprentice and finally she asked to see my indentures, which Joe produced; I am afraid I was ashamed of the dear good fellow–I know I was when I saw Estella’s eyes were laughing mischievously.
Miss Havisham then took a little bag from the table and handed it to me.
“Pip has earned a premium here,” she said, “and here it is. There are five and twenty guineas in the bag. Give it to your Master, Pip.”
I handed it to Joe, who said a few embarrassed words of gratitude to Miss Havisham.
“Good-bye, Pip,” she said. “Let them out, Estella.”
“Am I to come again, Miss Havisham?” I asked.
“No–Gargery is your master now. Gargery! One word!” Joe stepped back and she added, “The boy has been a good boy here, and that is his reward. Of course, as an honest man, you will expect no other.”
Then we went down, and in a moment we were outside of the gate, and it was locked and Estella was gone. When we stood in the daylight alone, Joe backed up against a wall, breathless with amazement, and repeated at intervals, “Astonishing! Pip, I do assure you this is as-ton-ishing!” Then we walked away, back to Mr. Pumblechook’s, where we found my sister, and told her the great news of my earnings, and she was as much pleased as was possible for her to be.
It is a miserable thing to feel ashamed of home, I assure you. To me home had never been a very pleasant place on account of sister’s temper, but Joe had sanctified it, and I believed in it. I had believed in the Best Parlour, as a most elegant place, I had believed in the Front Door as a mysterious portal of the Temple of State, I had believed in the kitchen as a chaste though not magnificent apartment; I had believed in the forge, as the glowing road to manhood and independence. Within a single year all this was changed. Now it was all coarse and common to me, and I would not have had Miss Havisham and Estella see it for the world. Once it had seemed to me that as Joe’s apprentice I should be distinguished and happy. Now I regret to say that I was as dejected and miserable as was possible to be, and in my ungracious breast there was a shame of all that surrounded me.
Toward the end of my first year as Joe’s apprentice I suggested that I go and call on Miss Havisham. He thought well of it, and so I went.
Everything was unchanged, except that a strange young woman came to the door, and I found that Estella was abroad being educated, and Miss Havisham was alone.
“Well,” said she. “I hope you want nothing; you’ll get nothing!”
“No, indeed,” I replied, “I only want you to know that I am doing very well and am always much obliged to you.” We had little other conversation, and soon she dismissed me, and as the gate closed on me, I felt more than ever dissatisfied with my home, and my trade, and with everything!
When I reached home, some one hastened out to tell me that the house had been entered during my absence, and that my sister had been attacked and badly injured. Nothing had been taken from the house, but my sister had been struck a terrible blow, and lay very ill in bed for months, and when at last she could come down stairs again her mind was never quite clear, and she was unable to speak. So it was necessary to have Biddy come and take up the house-keeping, and meanwhile I kept up the routine of my apprenticeship-life, varied only by the arrival of my several birthdays, on each of which I paid another visit to Miss Havisham.