FullReads

Then the wind in the trees died down, and the Padre could get out of bed, and soon be in the garden. But the voices within him still talked all the while as he sat watching the sails when they passed between the headlands. Their words, falling for ever the same way, beat his spirit sore, like blows upon flesh already bruised. If he could only change what they said, he would rest.

“Has the Padre any mall for Santa Barbara?” asked Felipe. “The ship bound southward should be here to-morrow.”

“I will attend to it,” said the priest, not moving. And Felipe stole away.

At Felipe’s words the voices had stopped, as a clock finishes striking. Silence, strained like expectation, filled the Padre’s soul. But in place of the voices came old sights of home again, the waving trees at Aranhal; then it would be Rachel for a moment, declaiming tragedy while a houseful of faces that he knew by name watched her; and through all the panorama rang the pleasant laugh of Gaston. For a while in the evening the Padre sat at his Erard playing Trovatore. Later, in his sleepless bed he lay, saying now and then: “To die at home! Surely I may be granted at least this.” And he listened for the inner voices. But they were not speaking any more, and the black hole of silence grew more dreadful to him than their arguments. Then the dawn came in at his window, and he lay watching its gray grow warm into color, until suddenly he sprang from his bed and looked at the sea. Blue it lay, sapphire-hued and dancing with points of gold, lovely and luring as a charm; and over its triangle the south-bound ship was approaching. People were on board who in a few weeks would be sailing the Atlantic, while he would stand here looking out of this same window. “Merciful God!” he cried, sinking on his knees. “Heavenly Father, Thou seest this evil in my heart! Thou knowest that my weak hand cannot pluck it out! My strength is breaking, and still Thou makest my burden heavier than I can bear.” He stopped, breathless and trembling. The same visions was flitting across his closed eyes; the same silence gaped like a dry crater in his soul. “There is no help in earth or heaven,” he said, very quietly; and he dressed himself.

VIIt was still so early that few of the Indians were stirring, and one of these saddled the Padre’s mule. Felipe was not yet awake, and for a moment it came in the priest’s mind to open the boy’s door softly, look at him once more, and come away. But this he did not, nor even take a farewell glance at the church and organ. He bade nothing farewell, but, turning his back upon his room and his garden, rode down the canyon.

The vessel lay at anchor, and some one had landed from ha and was talking with other men on the shore. Seeing the priest slowly coming, this stranger approached to meet him.

“You are connected with the mission here?” he inquired.

“I–am.”

“Perhaps it is with you that Gaston Villere stopped?”

“The young man from New Orleans? Yes. I am Padre Ignacio.”

“Then you’ll save me a journey. I promised him to deliver these into your own hands.”

The stranger gave them to him.

“A bag of gold-dust,” he explained, “and a letter. I wrote it at his dictation while he was dying. He lived hardly an hour afterward.”

The stranger bowed his head at the stricken cry which his news elicited from the priest, who, after a few moments’ vain effort to speak, opened the letter and read:

My dear Friend,–It is through no man’s fault but mine that I have come to this. I have had plenty of luck, and lately have been counting the days until I should return home. But last night heavy news from New Orleans reached me, and I tore the pressed flower to pieces. Under the first smart and humiliation of broken faith I was rendered desperate, and picked a needless quarrel. Thank God, it is I who have the punishment. By dear friend, as I lie here, leaving a world that no man ever loved more, I have come to understand you. For you and your mission have been much in my thoughts. It is strange how good can be done, not at the time when it is intended, but afterward; and you have done this good to me. I say over your words, “Contentment with Renunciation,” and believe that at this last hour I have gained something like what you would wish me to feel. For I do not think that I desire it otherwise now. My life would never have been of service, I am afraid. You am the last person in this world who has spoken serious words to me, and I want you to know that now at length I value the peace of Santa Ysabel as I could never have done but for seeing your wisdom and goodness. You spoke of a new organ for your church. Take the gold-dust that will reach you with this, and do what you will with it. Let me at least in dying have helped some one. And since them is no aristocracy in souls–you said that to me; do you remember?– perhaps you will say a mass for this departing soul of mine. I only wish, must my body must go under ground in a strange country, that it might have been at Santa Ysabel did Mar, where your feet would often pass.