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“Now, that idee kinder took me, seem’ I hedn’t no overpaourin’ love fer cousin; but I brewdid over it a spell ‘fore I ‘greed. Fin’lly, I said I’d dew it, as it warn’t a hard nor a bad trade; and begun to look raound fer Mis Flint, Jr. Aunt was dreadf’l pleased; but ‘mazin’ pertickler as tew who was goin’ tew stan’ in her shoes, when she was fetched up ag’inst the etarnal boom. There was a sight er likely womenfolks raound taown; but aunt she set her foot daown that Mis Flint must be smart, pious, an’ good-natered; harnsome she didn’t say nothin’ abaout, bein’ the humliest woman in the State er Maine. I hed my own calk’lations on that p’int, an’ went sparkin’ two or three er the pootiest gals, all that winter. I warn’t in no hurry, fer merryin’ is an awful resky bizness; an’ I wan’t goan to be took in by nobuddy. Some haouw I couldn’t make up my mind which I’d hev, and kept dodgin’, all ready to slew raound, an’ hitch on tew ary one that seemed likeliest. ‘Long in March, aunt, she ketched cold, took tew her bed, got wuss, an’ told me tew hurry up, fer nary cent should I hev, ef I warn’t safely merried ‘fore she stepped out. I thought that was ruther craoudin’ a feller; but I see she was goan sure, an’ I’d got inter a way er considerin’ the cash mine, so that it come hard to hear abaout givin’ on ‘t up. Off I went that evenin’ an’ asked Almiry Nash ef she’d hev me. No, she wouldn’t; I’d shilly-shallyed so long, she’d got tired er waitin’ and took tew keepin’ company with a doctor daown ter Banggore, where she’d ben visitin’ a spell. I didn’t find that as hard a nub to swaller, as I’d a thought I would, though Almiry was the richest, pootiest, and good-naterest of the lot. Aunt larfed waal, an’ told me tew try ag’in; so a couple er nights arfter, I spruced up, an’ went over to Car’line Miles’s; she was as smart as old cheese, an’ waal off in tew the barg’in. I was just as sure she’d hev me, as I be that I’m gittin’ the rewmatiz a settin’ in this ma’sh. But that minx, Almiry, hed ben and let on abaout her own sarsy way er servin’ on me, an’ Car’line jest up an’ said she warn’t goan to hev annybuddy’s leavin’s; so daown I come ag’in.

“Things was gettin’ desper’t by that time; fer aunt was failin’ rapid, an’ the story hed leaked aout some way, so the hull taown was gigglin’ over it. I thought I’d better quit them parts; but aunt she showed me her will all done complete, ‘sceptin the fust name er the legatee. ‘There,’ sez she, ‘it all depends on yeou, whether that place is took by Hiram or Josiah. It’s easy done, an’ so it’s goan tew stan till the last minit.’ That riled me consid’able, an’ I streaked off tew May Jane Simlin’s. She wan’t very waal off, nor extra harnsome, but she was pious the worst kind, an’ dreadf’l clever to them she fancied. But I was daown on my luck ag’in; fer at the fust word I spoke of merryin’, she showed me the door, an’ give me to understan’ that she couldn’t think er hevin’ a man that warn’t a church-member, that hadn’t experienced religion, or even ben struck with conviction, an’ all the rest on’t. Ef anny one hed a wanted tew hev seen a walkin’ hornet’s nest, they could hev done it cheap that night, as I went hum. I jest bounced intew the kitchen, chucked my hat intew one corner, my coat intew ‘nother, kicked the cat, cussed the fire, drawed up a chair, and set scaoulin’ like sixty, bein’ tew mad fer talkin’. The young woman that was nussin’ aunt,–Bewlah Blish, by name,–was a cooking grewel on the coals, and ‘peared tew understan’ the mess I was in; but she didn’t say nothin’, only blowed up the fire, fetched me a mug er cider, an’ went raound so kinder quiet, and sympathizing that I found the wrinkles in my temper gettin’ smoothed aout ‘mazin’ quick; an’ fore long I made a clean breast er the hull thing. Bewlah larfed, but I didn’t mind her doin’ on’t, for she sez, sez she, real sort o’ cunnin’,–