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Nilushka
by
Whiningly, like an old man, a child of the suburb was raising its voice in lamentation; and as I listened to the sound, it put me in mind of a clerk reading Vespers amid the desolation of an empty church. Presently a brown dog passed us with shaggy head despondently pendent, and eyes as beautiful as those of a drunken woman.
And, to complete the picture, there was standing– outlined against the nearest shanty of the suburb, a shanty which lay at the extreme edge of the ravine-there was standing, face to the sun, and back to the town, as though preparing for flight, the straight, slender form of the boy who, while alien to all, caressed all with the eternally incomprehensible smile of his angel-like eyes. Yes, that golden birthmark so like a bee I can see to this day!
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Two weeks later, on a Sunday at mid-day, Nilushka passed into the other world. That day, after returning home from late Mass, and handing to his mother a couple of wafers which had been given him as a mark of charity, the lad said:
“Mother, please lay out my bed on the chest, for I think that I am going to lie down for the last time.”
Yet the words in no way surprised Felitzata, for he had often before remarked, before retiring to rest:
“Some day we shall all of us have to die.”
At the same time, whereas, on previous occasions, Nilushka had never gone to sleep without first of all singing to himself his little song, and then chanting the eternal, universal “Lord, have mercy upon us! ” he, on this occasion, merely folded his hands upon his breast, closed his eyes, and relapsed into slumber.
That day Felitzata had dinner, and then departed on business of her own; and when she returned in the evening, she was astonished to find that her son was still asleep. Next, on looking closer at him, she perceived that he was dead.
“I looked,” she related plaintively to some of the suburban residents who came running to her cot, “and perceived his little feet to be blue; and since it was only just before Mass that I had washed his hands with soap, I remarked the more readily that his feet were become less white than his hands. And when I felt one of those hands, I found that it had stiffened.”
On Felitzata’s face, as she recounted this, there was manifest a nervous expression. Likewise, her features were a trifle flushed. Yet gleaming also through the tears in her languorous eyes there was a sense of relief–one might almost have said a sense of joy.
“Next,” continued she, “I looked closer still, and then fell on my knees before the body, sobbing: ‘0h my darling, whither art thou fled? 0h God, wherefore hast Thou taken him from me?’ “
Here Felitzata inclined her head upon her left shoulder contracted her brows over her mischievous eyes, clasped her hands to her breast, and fell into the lament:
Oh, gone is my dove, my radiant moon!
0 star of mine eyes, thou hast set too soon!
In darksome depths thy light lies drown’d,
And time must yet complete its round,
And the trump of the Second Advent sound,
Ere ever my–
“Here, you! Hold your tongue!” grunted Vologonov irritably.
For myself, I had, that day, been walking in the forest, until, as I returned, I was brought up short before the windows of Felitzata’s cot by the fact that some of the erstwhile turbulent denizens of the suburb were whispering softly together as, with an absence of all noise, they took turns to raise themselves on tiptoe, and, craning their necks, to peer into one of the black window-spaces. Yes, like bees on the step of a hive did they look, and on the great majority of faces, and in the great majority of eyes, there was quivering an air of tense, nervous expectancy.