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“‘Oh, I know,’ says Fergus, amiable, ‘that I’m not handy at small talk. Or large, either. That’s why I’m telling you. I want you to help me.’
“‘How can I do it?’ I asked.
“‘I have subsidized,’ says Fergus, ‘the services of Senorita Anabela’s duenna, whose name is Francesca. You have a reputation in this country, Judson,’ says Fergus, ‘of being a great man and a hero.’
“‘I have,’ says I. ‘And I deserve it.’
“‘And I,’ says Fergus, ‘am the best-looking man between the arctic circle and antarctic ice pack.’
“‘With limitations,’ says I, ‘as to physiognomy and geography, I freely concede you to be.’
“‘Between the two of us,’ says Fergus, ‘we ought to land the Senorita Anabela Zamora. The lady, as you know, is of an old Spanish family, and further than looking at her driving in the family /carruaje/ of afternoons around the plaza, or catching a glimpse of her through a barred window of evenings, she is as unapproachable as a star.’
“‘Land her for which one of us?’ says I.
“‘For me of course,’ says Fergus. ‘You’ve never seen her. Now, I’ve had Francesca point me out to her as being you on several occasions. When she sees me on the plaza, she thinks she’s looking at Don Judson Tate, the greatest hero, statesman, and romantic figure in the country. With your reputation and my looks combined in one man, how can she resist him? She’s heard all about your thrilling history, of course. And she’s seen me. Can any woman want more?’ asks Fergus McMahan.
“‘Can she do with less?’ I ask. ‘How can we separate our mutual attractions, and how shall we apportion the proceeds?’
“Then Fergus tells me his scheme.
“The house of the alcalde, Don Luis Zamora, he says, has a /patio/, of course–a kind of inner courtyard opening from the street. In an angle of it is his daughter’s window–as dark a place as you could find. And what do you think he wants me to do? Why, knowing my freedom, charm, and skilfulness of tongue, he proposes that I go into the /patio/ at midnight, when the hobgoblin face of me cannot be seen, and make love to her for him–for the pretty man that she has seen on the plaza, thinking him to be Don Judson Tate.
“Why shouldn’t I do it for him–for my friend, Fergus McMahan? For him to ask me was a compliment–an acknowledgment of his own shortcomings.
“‘You little, lily white, fine-haired, highly polished piece of dumb sculpture,’ says I, ‘I’ll help you. Make your arrangements and get me in the dark outside her window and my stream of conversation opened up with the moonlight tremolo stop turned on, and she’s yours.’
“‘Keep your face hid, Jud,’ says Fergus. ‘For heaven’s sake, keep your face hid. I’m a friend of yours in all kinds of sentiment, but this is a business deal. If I could talk I wouldn’t ask you. But seeing me and listening to you I don’t see why she can’t be landed.’
“‘By you?’ says I.
“‘By me,’ says Fergus.
Well, Fergus and the duenna, Francesca, attended to the details. And one night they fetched me a long black cloak with a high collar, and led me to the house at midnight. I stood by the window in the /patio/ until I heard a voice as soft and sweet as an angel’s whisper on the other side of the bars. I could see only a faint, white clad shape inside; and, true to Fergus, I pulled the collar of my cloak high up, for it was July in the wet seasons, and the nights were chilly. And, smothering a laugh as I thought of the tongue-tied Fergus, I began to talk.
“Well, sir, I talked an hour at the Senorita Anabela. I say ‘at’ because it was not ‘with.’ Now and then she would say: ‘Oh, Senor,’ or ‘Now, ain’t you foolin’?’ or ‘I know you don’t mean that,’ and such things as women will when they are being rightly courted. Both of us knew English and Spanish; so in two languages I tried to win the heart of the lady for my friend Fergus. But for the bars to the window I could have done it in one. At the end of the hour she dismissed me and gave me a big, red rose. I handed it over to Fergus when I got home.