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“`A beautiful day, doctor,’ we said, taking the vacant seat beside him.

“`Is it?’ replied he, placing his two feet in a graceful attitude on the elaborately-polished balustrade of the balcony.

“`Heard of you at Giants’ Bay,’ we remarked, by way of leading up to the subject. There was a pause, and then the doctor replied, `Oh!’

“`A strange affair the sudden mortality in that place, doctor.’

“`What about it?’ was the unexpected rejoinder, as the man of physic slowly assumed a standing attitude.

“He was dressed in a light check suit, which reflected considerable credit on the provincial tailor who made it.

“`That’s the question,’ we replied, with a touch of humour.

“The doctor appeared to feel the heat, but presently recovered sufficiently to call our attention to the peculiar make of his boots. They were large, with flapped uppers and clumped soles, and could hardly have cost less than a guinea the pair. We congratulated him warmly upon his possession. Dr Smith was evidently proud of them.

“`See them?’ said he, pointing to the right foot.

“We nodded a friendly assent, inwardly amused at our friend’s eccentricity.

“`Do you see that hill there?’ said he, abruptly pointing over our shoulder.

“We turned to look. It was indeed a fine view which met our eyes–a view of which any native of Scilly might be proud. We were about to make an observation to the effect, when he interrupted us.

“`Feel them?’

We certainly did feel something–not in front of us–and not being anxious to take up more of our friend’s valuable time, we thanked him for his courtesy and retired.

From the Round Table Hansard, August 25th.

Giants’ Bay Select Committee.–Lord Merlin was in the chair. The committee sat for a short time to draw up rules of procedure and arrange an adjournment. It was decided to prorogue the inquiry for six months, in order to allow witnesses to attend. A brief discussion ensued on the question of costs, and a short Bill was drafted, which it is proposed to add to the estimates.

The Chairman expressed an opinion that an additional twopence on the income-tax would amply cover the costs of the commission; and it was agreed to await the passing of the Bill before fixing the date for the next meeting. The committee then adjourned.

From the Giants’ Bay Broadsheet, September 10th.

Preliminary Notice.–On the 1st of April next, at the Mart, will be sold those three eligible hotels–namely, Blunderbore Hotel, Cormoran Hotel, and Galligantus Hotel, pleasantly situated in Giants’ Bay, Cornwall, commanding fine views of the sea. These palatial houses, standing in their own grounds, are fitted with every comfort and replete with every convenience. Fixtures at a valuation. By order of the executors of the late Giants Blunderbore, Cormoran, and Galligantus.

Catalogues and orders to view on application.

From the Army Gazetteer, December 1st.

Captain Tom Thumb to be Major-General, vice Sir Cap a Pie, deceased.

From the Lincoln Weekly Supplement, December 25th.

The Reverend Friar Tucker has been appointed to the living lately held by the Reverend Simon Cellarer.

From the West Anglian Anthropomorphist, January 1st.

At a meeting held last week it was decided to reorganise this society. A new president was elected. It was announced that an exhibition would be offered yearly, to be called the “Hardhide Exhibition,” for the best essay on the gigantic remains of south-west Britain.

From the Scampingtonian, January 25th.

Term has begun. We are glad to say that our chum, a Pie–now Sir Hugh a Pie–has been unanimously elected captain of the football club.

From the Stilly Gazette, April 3rd.

At the mart on Monday were sold the three Giant Hotels of Giants’ Bay. The bidding was very slack, but we understand the lots were eventually knocked down to a dealer in old bricks.

Our respected fellow-islander, Dr John Smith, has had the honour of being presented at court, where his Majesty has been pleased to confer on him several stripes, and the order of the Giant Killer. A public reception is to be held in the market-place to welcome home Sir John Smith, G.K., M.D., on his return from London.

From the Giants’ Bay Broadsheet, June 1st.

The offices of this paper being now closed, subscribers are requested to forward outstanding accounts by return to Messrs. Payup and Shellout, Solicitors, London.