PAGE 6
My Translatophone
by
“‘I do not understand it at all,’ said Miss Castle, when we were on the sidewalk. ‘You are not deaf, Mr. Howard, and yet you use an ear-trumpet. What does it mean?’
“Of course I did not know what to say, but I had to say something, and, moreover, that something must not be wholly inconsistent with my explanation to Mary.
“‘Oh, it is a thing,’ I answered, ‘that is intended to be used in connection with foreign languages.’ Then I made a bold stroke: ‘It shows the difference in their resonant rhythms.’
“‘Well, I am sure I do not understand that,’ said Miss Castle. ‘But what is the good of it? Does it make them any pleasanter to listen to?’
“I admitted that it did.
“‘Whether you understand them or not?’ she asked.
“If this young woman had at this moment fallen down a coal-hole I cannot truthfully say that I should have regretted it.
“‘I cannot explain that, Miss Castle,’ I said, ‘for it would take a long time, and here we are at your door.’
“‘Come in and let me try it,’ said Sarah.
“‘Thank you very much,’ I replied, ‘but I really cannot. I have an engagement at my club. In fact, I was just going to take leave of Miss Armat when you came in.’
“She looked at me scrutinizingly. ‘You used to call her Mary Armat when you spoke of her,’ said she, ‘but I suppose her having been a missionary makes a difference in that way. I do not believe much in club engagements, but of course we have to recognize them. And if you cannot come in now I wish you would call on me soon. If your invention has anything to do with foreign languages I truly want to try it. I am studying German now, and if it will put any resonant rhythm into that language it will be very interesting.’
“I made a hasty and indefinite promise, and gladly saw the front door shut behind Miss Sarah Castle.
“That night I did not sleep; in fact, I did not go to bed. The words Mary Armat had spoken to me in Burmese should have completely engrossed my every thought, but they did not. For one moment my mind was filled with rapture by the knowledge that I was loved by this lovely girl; and in the next I was overwhelmed by anxiety as to what should be done to make it impossible for her to know that I knew she had spoken those words. But whether my thoughts made me happy or distressed me, there seemed to be but one way out of my troubles; I must be content with Mary’s love, that is, if I should be so fortunate as to secure it. There might be doubts about this; women are fickle creatures, and Mary had been very much provoked with me when I parted from her.”
“I see what is coming,” here interrupted the Next Neighbor, “and I don’t approve of it at all!”
“It would be hard,” continued the Old Professor, after pausing for further remarks, “to turn my back upon the golden future which my invention would give to Mary and me; but I must win her, golden future or not. I sat before my study fire, and planned out my future actions. As soon as I could see Mary alone I would tell her my love, and I would explain to her why I had not spoken when I first saw her. But in order to do this I should have to be very careful. I would say nothing but the truth, but I would be very guarded in telling that truth. She must not imagine that anything she had said had made me speak. She must not imagine that I thought she expected me to speak.
“I would begin by asking her pardon for worrying her with my invention when I knew she disliked problematic mechanics. Then I would tell her, in as few words as possible, that I had expected this little instrument to give me fame and fortune, and therefore I wanted her to know all about it; and then, before she could ask me why I wanted her to know this, I would tell her it was because I wished to lay that fame and fortune at her feet. After that, in the best way my ardent feelings should dictate, I would offer myself to her without fortune, without fame, just the plain John Howard who loved her with all his heart. If she accepted me, I would tell her that the invention had not worked as I had intended it should, and therefore I should put it behind me forever.”