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"My Son’s Wife"
by
‘You used to play with that when my sister brought you down here after your measles,’ said Rhoda as he slipped the money into his pocket. ‘Now, this was your pore dear auntie’s business-room.’ She opened a low door. ‘Oh, I forgot about Mr. Sidney! There he is.’ An enormous old man with rheumy red eyes that blinked under downy white eyebrows sat in an Empire chair, his cap in his hands. Rhoda withdrew sniffing. The man looked Midmore over in silence, then jerked a thumb towards the door. ‘I reckon she told you who I be,’ he began. ‘I’m the only farmer you’ve got. Nothin’ goes off my place ‘thout it walks on its own feet. What about my pig-pound?’
‘Well, what about it?’ said Midmore.
‘That’s just what I be come about. The County Councils are getting more particular. Did ye know there was swine fever at Pashell’s? There be. It’ll ‘ave to be in brick.’
‘Yes,’ said Midmore politely.
‘I’ve bin at your aunt that was, plenty times about it. I don’t say she wasn’t a just woman, but she didn’t read the lease same way I did. I be used to bein’ put upon, but there’s no doing any longer ‘thout that pig-pound.’
‘When would you like it?’ Midmore asked. It seemed the easiest road to take.
‘Any time or other suits me, I reckon. He ain’t thrivin’ where he is, an’ I paid eighteen shillin’ for him.’ He crossed his hands on his stick and gave no further sign of life.
‘Is that all?’ Midmore stammered.
‘All now–excep”–he glanced fretfully at the table beside him–‘excep’ my usuals. Where’s that Rhoda?’
Midmore rang the bell. Rhoda came in with a bottle and a glass. The old man helped himself to four stiff fingers, rose in one piece, and stumped out. At the door he cried ferociously: ‘Don’t suppose it’s any odds to you whether I’m drowned or not, but them floodgates want a wheel and winch, they do. I be too old for liftin’ ’em with the bar–my time o’ life.’
‘Good riddance if ‘e was drowned,’ said Rhoda. ‘But don’t you mind him. He’s only amusin’ himself. Your pore dear auntie used to give ‘im ‘is usual–’tisn’t the whisky you drink–an’ send ‘im about ‘is business.’
‘I see. Now, is a pig-pound the same thing as a pig-sty?’
Rhoda nodded. ”E needs one, too, but ‘e ain’t entitled to it. You look at ‘is lease–third drawer on the left in that Bombay cab’net–an’ next time ‘e comes you ask ‘im to read it. That’ll choke ‘im off, because ‘e can’t!’
There was nothing in Midmore’s past to teach him the message and significance of a hand-written lease of the late ‘eighties, but Rhoda interpreted.
‘It don’t mean anything reelly,’ was her cheerful conclusion, ‘excep’ you mustn’t get rid of him anyhow, an’ ‘e can do what ‘e likes always. Lucky for us ‘e do farm; and if it wasn’t for ‘is woman–‘
‘Oh, there’s a Mrs. Sidney, is there?’
‘Lor, no!’ The Sidneys don’t marry. They keep. That’s his fourth since–to my knowledge. He was a takin’ man from the first.’
‘Any families?’
‘They’d be grown up by now if there was, wouldn’t they? But you can’t spend all your days considerin’ ‘is interests. That’s what gave your pore aunt ‘er indigestion. ‘Ave you seen the gun-room?’
Midmore held strong views on the immorality of taking life for pleasure. But there was no denying that the late Colonel Werf’s seventy-guinea breechloaders were good at their filthy job. He loaded one, took it out and pointed–merely pointed–it at a cock-pheasant which rose out of a shrubbery behind the kitchen, and the flaming bird came down in a long slant on the lawn, stone dead. Rhoda from the scullery said it was a lovely shot, and told him lunch was ready.
He spent the afternoon gun in one hand, a map in the other, beating the bounds of his lands. They lay altogether in a shallow, uninteresting valley, flanked with woods and bisected by a brook. Up stream was his own house; down stream, less than half a mile, a low red farm-house squatted in an old orchard, beside what looked like small lock-gates on the Thames. There was no doubt as to ownership. Mr. Sidney saw him while yet far off, and bellowed at him about pig-pounds and floodgates. These last were two great sliding shutters of weedy oak across the brook, which were prised up inch by inch with a crowbar along a notched strip of iron, and when Sidney opened them they at once let out half the water. Midmore watched it shrink between its aldered banks like some conjuring trick. This, too, was his very own.