FullReads

Run quarter miles, or hurdle race,
Jump high or low or wide;
Try football tricks, both drop and place,
Join us in seek and hide.
But please don’t squabble, dear boys,
It isn’t nice to squall;
It looks so bad, makes such a noise,
It quite upsets us all.

All.
Enough, dear Mary Ann, enough, enough;
(Did ever mortal hear such stupid stuff?)
Who’s going to fight? We’re here to play,
Reserve your lectures for some other day.

(Athletic sports begin. The crowd looks on, as Chorus)

Chorus.
Clear the course, ring the bell,
Toe the line, start them well.
Go it, cripples! on you go!
This man’s gaining, that’s dropped slow!
Mind the corner! keep your side!
Save your wind! Well run! well tried!
One more lap! Stick to it there!
Now for a spurt! He’s leading clear–
No, neck-and-neck! No, leader’s done!
The best man wins! Well run! well run!
Now for the jump–four feet, all clear.
Up inch by inch. Ah, very near!
Another try. What, missed again?
He’s not the winning man, that’s plain.
Up, four foot six! Bravo! Well jumped!
See, number four is getting pumped.
Good, number six! He’s all on springs!
Another inch! The tug begins!
Up, up, and up! Three men still in –
Now only two! Which is to win? Up higher!
Ah, there’s one miss more! Well jumped!
Dead heat at five-feet-four.

(During the song Romulus and Remus run and jump. Romulus wins the race, but the high jump is a dead heat.)

Romulus (in a temper).
Remus is a sharper,
Remus is a cheat,
Remus collared my side,
And made it a dead heat.
I’ll collar Remus’ side,
Whether he likes or no;
I’ll not be done by him –
At least, without a row.

Remus (derisively).
Romulus, he makes a fuss
Because he’s been licked by his brother.
Let him alone, and he’ll go home;
Who cares for his noise and his bother?

Chorus (reproachfully).
This is the way they always go, always go, always go,
Quarrel and kick up no end of a row,
From the time they get up in the morning.
Leave them alone and let them be, let them be, let them be;
If they can’t be civil, let us agree On this beautiful May-day
morning.

(Exeunt dancing, leaving Romulus and Remus fighting.)

Scene II.

[On the Site of Rome.]

[Four Years Later.]

[Enter Romulus and Remus lovingly, with their arms round each other’s necks.]

Rom.
Good old Remus, ain’t I fond of you!
Oh, what a brick you are! I love you so!

Rem.
I never knew a chap I liked like Romly,
So gentle, kind, good-looking, bold and comly.

Rom.
You make me blush, my Remy; you’re the brick,
Through thick and thin I vow to you I’ll stick.

Rem.
Thank you. Suppose, to mark our vows,
We raise a monument or build a house.

Rom.
Why, while we’re at it, let us build a city,
The greatest in the world!
List to my ditty:
(Sings).

This is the town that Romulus and Remus built.

These are the walls that go round the town that Romulus and Remus built.

[These are the boys that built the walls that go round the town that Romulus and Remus built.

These are the poets who sing of the boys that built the walls that go round the town that Romulus and Remus built.

These are the scholars who read the poets who sing of the boys who built the walls that go round the town that Romulus and Remus built.