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CHAPTER IX.

WHICH TREATS OF EXPERIMENTS NOT VERY COMMON AT BIRTHDAY FETES.

‘Now, my dears,’ said Mr. Von Pilsen to a party who were helping him to laugh at the departed Mr. Schnackenberger, ‘as soon as the fellow returns, we must get him into our party at supper.’

‘Returns?’ exclaimed another; ‘why I should fancy he had had enough of birthday fetes for one life.’

‘You think so?’ said Von Pilsen: ‘so do not I. No, no, my good creature; I flatter myself that I go upon pretty sure grounds: I saw those eyes which he turned upon the princess on making his exit: and mind what I say, he takes his beast home, and—-comes back again. Therefore, be sure, and get him amongst us at supper, and set the barrel abroach. I wouldn’t for all the world the monster should go away untapped.’

The words were scarce uttered, when, sure enough, the body, or ‘barrel,’ of Mr. Schnackenberger did roll into the room for a second time. Forthwith Von Pilsen and his party made up to him; and Pilsen having first with much art laboured to efface any suspicions which might have possessed the student’s mind in consequence of his former laughter, proceeded to thank him for the very extraordinary sport which his dog had furnished; and protested that he must be better acquainted with him.

‘Why, as to that,’ said Mr. Schnackenberger, ‘a better acquaintance must naturally be very agreeable to me. But, in respect to the dog, and what you call the sport, I’m quite of another opinion; and would give all I’m worth that it had not happened.’

‘Oh! no,’ they all declared; ‘the fete would have wanted its most brilliant features if Mr. Schnackenberger or his dog had been absent. No, no: without flattery he must allow them to call him the richest fund of amusement–the brightest attraction of the evening.’ But Schnackenberger shook his head incredulously; said he wished he could think so: but with a deep sigh he persisted in his own opinion; in which he was the more confirmed, when he perceived that the princess, who was now passing him to the supper-room, turned away her eyes the moment she perceived him.

In this state of mind Mr. Jeremiah naturally, but unconsciously, lent himself to the designs of his new acquaintances. Every glass that the devil of mischief and of merry malice poured out, did the devil of Schnackenberger’s despair drink off; until at last the latter devil was tolerably well drowned in wine.

About this time enter Juno again–being her second (and positively last) appearance upon these boards. Mr. Jeremiah’s new friends paid so much homage to the promising appearance of her jaws, that they made room for her very respectfully as she pressed up to her master. He, whose recent excesses in wine had re-established Juno in the plenitude of her favour, saw with approving calmness his female friend lay both her fore-paws on the table–and appropriate all that remained on his plate, to the extreme astonishment of all present.

‘My friend,’ said Mr. Jeremiah, to a footman who was on the point of pulling away the unbidden guest, ‘don’t you, for God’s sake, get into any trouble. My Juno understands no jesting on these occasions: and it might so happen that she would leave a mark of her remembrance with you, that you would not forget so long as you lived.’

‘But I suppose, Sir, you won’t expect that a dog can be allowed to sup with her Highness’s company!’

‘Oh! faith, Sir, credit me–the dog is a more respectable member of society than yourself, and many a one here present: so just leave me and my Juno unmolested. Else I may, perhaps, take the trouble to make an example of you.’

The princess, whose attention was now drawn, made a sign to the servant to retire; and Von Pilsen and his friends could scarcely keep down their laughter to a well-bred key, when Mr. Schnackenberger drew his pipe from his pocket–loaded it–lit it at one of the chandeliers over the supper-table–and, in one minute, wrapped the whole neighbourhood in a voluminous cloud of smoke.