Mr. Fox Gets Into Serious Business
by
“HIT turn out one time,” said Uncle Remus, grinding some crumbs of tobacco between the palms of his hands, preparatory to enjoying his usual smoke after supper–“hit turn out one time dat Brer Rabbit make so free wid de man’s collard-patch dat de man he tuck’n sot a trap fer ole Brer Rabbit.”
“Which man was that, Uncle Remus?” asked the little boy.
“Des a man, honey. Dat’s all. Dat’s all I knows–des wunner dese yer mans w’at you see trollopin ‘roun’ eve’y day. Nobody ain’t never year w’at his name is, en ef dey did dey kep’ de news mighty close fum me. Ef dish yer man is bleedzd fer ter have a name, den I’m done, kaze you’ll hatter go fudder dan me. Ef you bleedzd ter know mo’ dan w’at I duz, den you’ll hatter hunt up some er deze yer niggers w’at’s sprung up sence I commence fer ter shed my ha’r.”
“Well, I just thought, Uncle Remus,” said the little boy, in a tone remarkable for self-depreciation, “that the man had a name.”
“Tooby sho,” replied the old man, with unction, puffing away at his pipe. “Co’se. Dat w’at make I say w’at I duz. Dish yer man mout a had a name, en den ag’in he moutn’t. He mont er bin name Slip-shot Sam, en he mouter bin name ole One-eye Riley, w’ich ef ‘twuz hit ain’t bin handed roun’ ter me. But dish yer man, he in de tale, en w’at we gwine do wid ‘im? Dat’s de p’int, kase w’en I git ter huntin’ ‘roun’ ‘mong my ‘membunce atter dish yer Mister W’atyoumaycollum’s name, she ain’t dar. Now den, le’s des call ‘im Mr. Man en let ‘im go at dat.”
The silence of the little boy gave consent.
“One time,” said Uncle Remus, carefully taking up the thread of the story where it had been dropped, “hit turn out dat Brer Rabbit bin makin’ so free wid Mr. Man’s greens en truck dat Mr. Man, he tuck’n sot a trap for Brer Rabbit, en Brer Rabbit he so greedy dat he tuck’n walk right spang in it, ‘fo’ he know hisse’f. Well, ‘twa’n’t long ‘fo’ yer come Mr. Man, broozin’ ‘roun’, en he ain’t no sooner see ole Brer Rabbit dan he smack his han’s tergedder en holler out:
“‘You er nice feller, you is! Yer you bin gobblin’ up my green truck, en now you tryin’ ter tote off my trap. You er mighty nice chap–dat’s w’at you is! But now dat I got you, I’ll des ’bout settle wid you fer de ole en de new.’
“En wid dat, Mr. Man, he go off, he did, down in de bushes atter han’ful er switches. Ole Brer Rabbit, he ain’t sayin’ nuthin’, but he feelin’ mighty lonesome, en he sot dar lookin’ like eve’y minnit wuz gwineter be de nex’. En w’iles Mr. Man wuz off prepa’r’n his bresh-broom, who should come p’radin’ long but Brer Fox. Brer Fox make a great ‘miration, he did, ’bout de fix w’at he fin’ Brer Rabbit in, but Brer Rabbit he make like he fit ter kill hisse’f laffin’, en he up’n tell Brer Fox, he did, dat Miss Meadows’s fokes want ‘im ter go down ter der house in ‘tennunce on a weddin’, en he ‘low w’ich he couldn’t, en dey ‘low how he could, en den bimeby dey take’n tie ‘im dar w’iles dey go atter de preacher, so he be dar’ w’en dey come back. En mo’n dat, Brer Rabbit up’n tell Brer Fox dat his chillun’s mighty low wid de fever, en he bleedzd ter go atter some pills fer’m, en he ax Brer Fox fer ter take his place en go down ter Miss Meadows’s en have nice time wid de gals. Brer Fox, he in fer dem kinder pranks, en ‘twa’n’t no time ‘fo’ Brer Rabbit had ole Brer Fox harness up dar in his place, en den he make like he got ter make ‘as’e en git de pills fer dem sick chilluns. Brer Rabbit wa’n’t mo’n out er sight ‘fo’ yer come Mr. Man wid a han’ful er hick’ries, but w’en he see Brer Fox tied up dar, he look like he ‘stonished.