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Marjory
by
A low murmur of delight ran round the room, which the butler tried to check in vain.
‘Don’t!’ he said again, ‘wait–wait till morning…. Go to sleep quiet now, and I’ll come up first thing and tell you.’
He had no sooner turned his back than the general relief broke out irrepressibly; Ormsby being especially demonstrative. ‘Didn’t I tell you fellows so?’ he said triumphantly; ‘as if it was likely a plucky girl like Marjory would mind a little cut like that. She’ll be all right in the morning, you see!’
But this confidence jarred upon me, who could not pretend to share it, until I was unable to restrain the torturing anxiety I felt.
‘You’re wrong–all of you!’ I cried, ‘I’m sure she’s not better. Didn’t you hear how Sutcliffe said it? She’s worse–she may even be dying!’
I met with the usual treatment of a prophet of evil. ‘You young muff,’ I was told on all sides, ‘who asked your opinion? Who are you, to know better than anyone else?’
Ormsby attacked me hotly for trying to excite a groundless alarm, and I was recommended to hold my tongue and go to sleep.
I said no more, but I could not sleep; the others dropped off one by one, Ormsby being the last; but I lay awake listening and thinking, until the dread and suspense grew past bearing. I must know the truth. I would go down and find the Doctor, and beg him to tell me; he might be angry and punish me–but that would be nothing in comparison with the relief of knowing my fear was unfounded.
Stealthily I slipped out of bed, stole through the dim room to the door, and down the old staircase, which creaked under my bare feet. The dog in the yard howled as I passed the big window, through which the stars were sparkling frostily in the keen blue sky. Outside the room in which Marjory lay, I listened, but could hear nothing. At least she was sleeping, then, and, relieved already, I went on down to the hall.
The big clock on a table there was ticking solemnly, like a slow footfall; the lamp was alight, so the Doctor must be still up. With a heart that beat loudly I went to his study door and lifted my hand to knock, when from within rose a sound at which the current of my blood stopped and ran backwards–the terrible, heartbroken grief of a grown man.
Boy as I was, I felt that an agony like that was sacred; besides, I knew the worst then.
I dragged myself upstairs again, cold to the bones, with a brain that was frozen too. My one desire was to reach my bed, cover my face, and let the tears flow; though, when I did regain it, no tears and no thoughts came. I lay there and shivered for some time, with a stony, stunned sensation, and then I slept–as if Marjory were well.
The next morning the bell under the cupola did not clang, and Sutcliffe came up with the direction that we were to go down very quietly, and not to draw up the window-blinds; and then we all knew what had happened during the night.
There was a very genuine grief, though none knew Marjory as I had known her; the more emotional wept, the older ones indulged in little semi-pious conventional comments, oddly foreign to their usual tone; all–even the most thoughtless–felt the same hush and awe overtake them.
I could not cry; I felt nothing, except a dull rage at my own insensibility. Marjory was dead–and I had no tears.
Morning school was a mere pretence that day; we dreaded, for almost the first time, to see the Doctor’s face, but he did not show himself, and the arrangements necessary for the breaking-up of the school were made by the matron.
Some, including Ormsby and myself, could not be taken in for some days, during which we had to remain at the school: days of shadow and monotony, with occasional ghastly outbreaks of the high spirits which nothing could repress, even in that house of mourning.